No more excuses....no more sob stories. Well at least after this one. LOL
In Chicago I spoke with a lot of women. Many of whom I admire. One conversation discussed how much we as a community are always there for each other. It's a great thing. Yet, at the same time...is it?
Whenever any of us are stalled in our weight loss, eating crap, not exercising...whatever...we turn to the blog. We post our story...and what happens. Our sisters in the battle encourage us. We tell each other it's just one day...tomorrow will be better...don't beat yourself up, etc. That's great...but...
We are enabling each other to make excuses. We are enabling our bad behavior by saying...you can do better tomorrow. WTF...let's stop right now. Why do we have to do better tomorrow? We know what needs to be done today...so why the hell are we not doing it?!?!? It's not cool. Writing these sob stories and getting sympathy from each other is not helping us succeed. It's helping us continue to fall into the same damn trap that we have fallen in over and over again.
I'm guilty of this behavior. I do it all the time. I come on my blog and tell yall that I ate cookies, I haven't worked out, I'm tired, etc., etc., etc. Well I'm done crying about what I'm not doing right and what I'm eating wrong. I'm done. I'm tired of crying about my screw ups on this journey. I'm just tired.
I'm only going to focus on my successes...no matter how slow it takes to get there. Thank you all for being here for me...no matter what I'm crying about. Now it's time to talk about my joys...my new challenges of succeeding and how success changes my life. I am going to do me...and I'm not crying anymore. No more!!!!
19 comments:
Wow! I like this A LOT! Love the support I get from blogging but you are right! No excuses ~ get it done!
Good for you Dawnya...Our blogs are a double edged sword at times. We give encouragement because we don't want our friends to give up, as we have seen some do. It's not that we are trying to enable each other, but rather not wanting our friends to beat themselves up over something rather small. Many of us have beaten up ourselves over everything we eat and we need to learn that we can't focus on all the negatives, yet knowing that we have to move past them and keep moving forward. I am SO proud of the woman you are and the healthier woman you are becoming. Still, I'll always be the one to bitch slap you when you need me to. You have my number...use it freely!!!
Yep, I have to agree w/Steph J dear beautiful Dawnya. We don't want each other to give up, or to add to the guilt that our sister already feels. We want to encourage her to get back in the groove of what she already knows she should be doing. More as a reminder than an enabling behavior.
Also, in some ways, this blogging of the negative behaviors allows us to say, Yep, here I am being accountable.
I do love this post though. No excuses and let's move forward. You are absolutely gorgeous and I adore you. /hugs /love
I SO agree with your comments. I love when someone falls (like seriously falls) off the wagon, and all of the posts are reminding said blogger how far she has come. Uh yeah, we have come far, but we still need someone to kick us in hte pants to get on the wagon. So in the spirit of this- gym, gym, gym!!!
Great post Dawnya! You know what you have to do......JUST DO IT! ( Hey, that would be a great slogan for a sneaker company, yes?)
Amen, sister! I feel the same way. I don't want to be validated when I mess up, I just want to admit it and move on. Maybe no one should comment on our "I-messed-up" posts!
Fantastic post. And excellent points. TODAY!!! I fix it today!
I have two different views on this topic.(which by the way, is a great one)
I think it's safe to say that I lean(fall)towards black or white thinking.
But I've been working on it for quite some time.
So I have to disagree with what you said. lol(see I'm not an enabler...I'm bucking you! lol)(I am just kidding I hope you know that)
I've always liked the person who tells me how it is. The straight shooter. I guess you can say that's more my style.
However, since I am a work in progress on the black or white thinking....I now appreciate the person whose personality is to support no matter what. The one who always has something positive to say.
So now when the person comes along and says, "you'll get back on track", "don't beat yourself up" and the other person comes along and says, "stop making excuses", "don't expect something different if you aren't doing something different" I can really appreciate both forms of support.(and personally I need both)
Thanks again for a great topic.
Dawnya you know how to work it! Just Do It!!
I love a post by Catherine that said the only way to be totally successful with this band is to "get your ass off the couch"! I adopted that mantra!
Love you!! Great Post!
Great post Dawnya! I agree with you completely - for myself...I don't share my shortcomings to have people tell me it's ok but I also try to keep in mind that there are people who need that assurance that everything will be ok otherwise they will just say "screw it" and go back to old habits. That said, you can put my on the list of people willing to kick you in the ass when you need it ;)
I want to listen to a heavy metal song and push someone now!!
Effing step it up! Show us what your about! Do it. Or I'll poke you in the eye. Raawwwrrrrrr
Hows that? *blush*
THIS is why you are my soul sister! I feel the same way, sometimes I need someone to kick me in the ass not to tell me it's OK. I KNOW it's not OK but someone telling me it's OK tends to make me say...yeah, I have done well, I DESERVE to be a slacker. (Fat brain!)
I'm more of a tell it like it is person, but many don't appreciate it and you never know how someone will take it so sometimes I just don't comment.
If you want to see someone who can scare you straight, let me know, I'll send you a blog address.
And by the way - I need your phone #. I miss you so so so much.
Did you see Drazil's post today? LMAO.
Love you!!
I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way sometimes. I don't know why I make bad choices, but when I do I need someone to call me out on it! So you do it girl! <3 you :)
I think that I fall somewhere in between. I completely agree with you that blowing of bad behavior, just isn't a very good answer.
But I also think that helping someone get back on track can be done using positive motivation. No, sitting on your ass and eating cookies will not get you to your goals. But YAY for you for noticing it and deciding to do something about it. Beating yourself up for past mistakes is not helpful, but not doing anything about it is not helpful either.
Either way, I love the dickens out of you. So while my love for you won't change regardless of what you do, I WANT you to meet YOUR goals. So get on it, sweet sugar. You know you can do it!!
Wow....Amanda!!! Haha.
I was gonna say Raaawwwwwrrr, but she beat me to it!
I love your post, and I love the comments. I do think I'm going a bit towards Dawnya's side, and try to focus more on my success instead of my failures. <3
You're right! We need to do the damn thang!!
And we can! We all need support, but the excuses have really got to stop. I do it soooo much. Even today. But, you know what, you inspired me. I'm putting my foot down and doing better. RIGHT. NOW.
Thanks buttercup!!! I freaking love you!!
Yeah I always struggle with being supportive and encouraging but not enabling. Sometimes we need a good kick in the pants!
I spent 25 years hating myself and beating myself up over what I ate or didn't eat and how much I exercised. I think we all know what we need to do, but I'm not sure that a public flogging will get us there any faster.
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