Living in the closet and the scale

I'm living in the closet about my weight loss surgery.  Yup...I'm hiding out.  Here is the thing...I'm not ashamed of my surgery.  Never have been and I never will be.  However, I am was afraid of failing...so I didn't tell anyone but my immediate family and my best friends.  Now that I am having some success with my weight loss...I'm still in the closet.  The thing is...if someone ask me what I'm doing...I tell them I'm eating smaller portions...I'm exercising more...and I had WLS.  I never lie if I'm directly asked about it.  The thing is I don't feel it is anyone's business.  That's just me.  I'm not an overly private person..but there are somethings I just don't feel the need to share.  My WLS is one of those things.  I'm friends with many of you on FB and you have recently witness me post workout or food photos.  Thank you for your encouraging words.  I would just ask that you don't mention my WLS on FB as it is no body's business but mine.  Thank you in advance.

Do you ever get tired of people mentioning your weight loss.  I never thought I would say this...but I'M SICK TO DEATH OF IT.  Like seriously...if we see each other several times a week...I dont' need you to remind me that I've lost weight.  Fool...I know that.  I hate to sound ungrateful...but I don't want to talk about my weight.  I'm not good at accepting compliments.  Yes...this is from the girl who loves being the center of attention.  Just let me be me without mentioning the obvious.  That would be ideal.  I know it won't happen...and I will try to get better at accepting the compliment instead of trying to direct the conversation to another topic. 

I've been sleeved for 17 weeks (4 months) now.  Whew how time flys when your eating smaller portions.  LOL  I'm down a total of 48 lbs.  Which brings my grand total weight loss since being banded in 2010 to 94 lbs gone FORFUCKINGEVER!!!!!  I'm happy with the numbers...but please know I'm not stopping.  I"m going to keep going until I reach that magical place....lol...sorry I'm watching someone eat lucky charms.  LOL  No seriously...I'm good.  I know where I want to go and how to get there.

How often do you weigh?  A lady in one of my support groups says she only steps on the scale every 6 weeks.  She says she allows her clothes to tell her how successful she is.  I'm thinking about giving it a try.  That damn scale is evil.  It hasn't moved this week...even though I've been playing with my calories just to get it going.  Nada.  So I'm going to give the scale a break.  I'm not going to step back on until Wednesday May 8th.  Well at least that is the plan.   LOL

Wear your day well my friends...wear your day well.

Stuff

So I made these fish tacos tonight. OMG they were yummy in my tummy.  This was the plate I made for Charles.  I made myself a taco.  But I only had 3 bites and then I was full.  But those 3 bites were super tasty.

 

 

I love the color combo of blue and yellow....or blue and green....or blue, yellow & green. I just love color.
Sorry for the picture quality...it was taken by a 4 year old.

 

 

 

Well nothing exciting to report. Umm doing a 30 workouts in 30 days challenge with a friend. Makes me realize how much I do not like working out.  Only because I'm not doing anything fun.  If I were doing some fun workout I would enjoy it more.  Oh well..I'm to cheap to do anything fun right now. Oh yeah I'm participating in a race on Sunday. I'm so not prepared for 10 miles...but I'm going. Training was going well.  Then my mom got sick and I had to take care of her, the kids, Charles...everybody but Dawnya.  But I'm cheap...and I refuse to pay $75 for a t-shirt...so I will be at the starting line come Sunday morning.  Needless to say there will be more walking than running. Oh there will be lots of crying too. LOL

 

Okay...that's it....I think.  

Food you avoid

So what do you do when you find out a food no longer agrees with you since having surgery?  For me...I never had that problem with my band.  All food worked and went down with no problem.  Well except for my little issue with pork...but luckily that passed.  I couldn't have imagined a life without bacon. 

Well since having the revision to sleeve...there are certain things that will no longer work with my tummy.  And when I say they don't work...it is bad people.  When I eat a food that doesn't agree...my heart rate increases, my head starts to hurt, I start sweating and I have a build up of saliva in my mouth.  It feels like hell and I want to pull myself into a ball and cry like a baby. 

I have taken to writing down the food items that make me feel this way.  As soon as I eat something and this happens it goes into my little notebook.  If I didn't write it down I would eat it again...because I suffer from CRS (can't remember shit). 

Do you have any foods that make you feel like crap?

Shopping

I'm vain. I know this. I truly care about how I look. Always have and always will. Even at my heaviest I made it my business to dress myself well.

It helps that I love to shop.  One of the main reasons I had surgery is so that I could shop at more places.  I'm happy to report I can go into any store and fit the clothes.

I'm currently in a size 16 pant and a M/L shirt. I'm down to 219.8 as of this morning.  My starting weight the day of my lap band surgery was 311. I lost 50 lbs with my band. But after the complications started I gained. The morning of my revision to sleeve I weighed 275. That was 14 weeks ago.

I'm super excited to be on this journey.

Realization

I realized today that I am not a fan of organized runs.  I don't like running with a ton of people.  For me it is uncomfortable.  I like running alone (when I run)...doing me.  So that means a jam comes through the headphones I can stop and bounce a little before continuing the run.  Umm...apparently, people don't appreciate you stopping dead in your tracks to dance during a 5k.  Ummm...my bad.  Needless to say...this means I've wasted a few buck signing up for these runs.  I'll go and get my t-shirt...but I won't get a medal at the end because I'm not going to run it.  LOL

So as you can see my post are few and far between. I really just don't have much to say.  Seriously, my life is as boring as watching paint dry.  LOL

Well I hope everyone is doing well with their wellness goals.  I'm still on track...which is a great thing.  Have a fantabulous day folks. 

Away we go!!!

Here are some picks to show how far I have come since November 16, 2010.  I will forever be grateful for my lap band surgery.  Now I'm even more grateful for my revision to the sleeve.  I'm 47 pounds away from my goal.  My journey started in November 2010.  I started at 311 lbs.  As of Sunday I'm 232.4 lbs.  Many people always say...well you could have done that without surgery. I can honestly say...NO I COULD NOT!!! The first group of photos were taken the day before surgery, at the six month mark and finally at the 1 year mark.  The photos in the red dress were taken on
January 27, 2013.

Stalling

Everything in my life has been trying to keep me from my daily workouts.  It has worked for the last 2 days.  Totally ticks me off because I'm now experiencing my first stall since surgery.  No real worries though.  I plan on getting back on it today. 

I saw the surgeon on Friday.  He was happy with my 36 lb weight loss in 7 weeks.  He did give me a goal for our next visit.  I need to lose 25 lbs by the time I see him again on March 29th.  I'm confident I can do it.  I just need to knock this stall out the way.  It is going down my peeps.

I miss blogging so much...but the truth is...I have nothing to talk about. My life is a bunch of the same...kids, work, exercise and family.  Nothing exciting.  If something exciting does happen I will be sure to tell y'all first.  LOL

I'm still reading your blogs.  I try to comment...but the truth is...if I have nothing to say I don't.  But I'm keeping up. 

I hope everyone is having a great day.  I'm just ready for mine to end.  I didn't plan my meals this week...so I'm just grumpy as hell.  Then I went to the grocery store last night.  I hate the grocery store with a passion so strong it hurts.  Plus I took all 3 of my kids...3 kids...3 different grocery stores...but we are finished with our shopping for the month...with the exception of milk and break.

Are you ladies staying accountable to your new year goals?  I hope so. 

Jumping rope

Sometimes you have to take exercise back to the days of your childhood.  The days when you spent hour after hour outside playing with your friends until you mom screamed out the front door that the street lights were about to come one.  Honey...she didn't need to scream...I was already on my way...I didn't want a butt whipping.

I say that to say...that the exercise that we just considered playing in our childhood still has the same health benefits.  Yesterday, I jumped rope for a good 15 minutes and tried (it was a sin and a shame) to hula hoop.  Like seriously...who forgets how to hula hoop...obviously me.  It was so much fun.  My kids were upstairs cleaning their rooms.  But my youngest just sat in the chair and watched me.  He was so fascinated.  Why can't all exercise be this fun?  I enjoyed myself.  It would have been even better if there were 2 other girls around so we could have gotten in a game of double dutch.  I would have tore that up.  Next on the agenda of playful exercise is a game of hop scotch.  My daughter loves this.  I can't wait.

I hope you are still working toward your health goals for the new year. I am.  When I get home from work this morning I'm signing up for two 5k races.  The  first is in March.  I'm not sure when the other is...but it is awesome.  It is an electric light display 5k.  Austin always has some weird type of race going on during race season.

In the weight loss department I'm down to an all time low of 237 lbs.  Yup...I weigh myself twice a week.  Once on Sunday morning and then again on Wednesday.  I'm looking forward to reaching my goal by my birthday. 

Have a great week my friends. 

P.S.  The kid shows Calliou and Max & Ruby are the devil.

Ummm...yeah I can never come up with a title.

Tonight I attended a social hosted by the Austin chapter of Black Girls Run (BGR).  It was a lot of fun and I was able to get fitted an have a run test for a new pair of running shoes.  Did I need them...no...did I get them...yes.  The reason being is my running is increasing and I will need to break those bad boys in before my first race.  BTW...I've signed up for 2 5k's and I have the Austin 10/20 which is a 10 mile race with 20 bands set up along the route. It's going to be fun.  Let's just hope I'm ready. 

Our social was a kick off to our C25K program.  It's great having a group to train with if the mood so strikes me.  It won't because they usually run on Saturday morning and that is the only morning I can actually sleep in. 

The event was held at a local fitness store.  I did get a great sports bra tonight.  I'm so glad, because my last one is way to big.  I also finally broke down and purchased a heart rate monitor.  I can't wait to see the difference it has on my activity level.  The treadmills at my job have a program that allows you to sync your heart rate monitor to the treadmill so it will automatically increase the speed or slow it down based on your target heart rate.  Awesome!!!

WLS Support Group

Last night I went to my first ever support group.  True enough I have been a WLS patient since November of 2010, but I had never attended a support group.  I received all of the support I needed from the blogs...or so I thought.  I was wrong.  Being in a room with people who have gone through/are going through the exact same thing as me was an amazing experience. 

I talked non-stop...even though we all know I'm really shy.  LOL  But it was great.  I met some amazing people...who I have already interacted with some through a private FB group for Bariatric patients in my area. 

After attending just one meeting...I know I will become a permanent fixture at them all.  It's like there is so much there for me to learn and offer.  One of the awesome things they do is a clothing exchange at every meeting.  If the clothes aren't taken they are donated.  I plan on making their donations go to a better place than the salvation army and good will.  Those are great places...but how about the homeless shelter, the batter women shelter, dress for success....etc.

So how is everyone doing?  I hope all is well in your world and you are keep up the momentum of your new year goals.  I'm doing well.  Just needing to get my butt in gear with the exercise.  I'm starting the 30 day shred tonight (hopefully, I finish it this time.)  I will only do it Monday - Saturday.  Sunday is my rest day from all exercise.  If anyone has the DVD and would like to do it with me...let me know.

I get to have soft foods on January 23rd...I'm happier than a flea at the pound.

Happy New Year!!!!

It's a new year.  Are you excited?  Are you ready to make some changes?  Well as you all know I don't start my new year until my birthday.  I make my "goals" then. 

I'm super excited about 2013 though.  I love watching everyone work toward new goals...finding the thing that makes them happy and keeps them that way.

My all the time goal is to find a fulfilling job.  I want to get excited about going to work.  I need to make a difference.  However, I'm waiting on God to order my steps.

So today I'm exactly 3 weeks post-op revising my band to gastric sleeve.  Everything is going well.  I'm healing without any problems.  I am actually scheduled to workout tonight.  It's cold her in central Texas so I might have to take this workout to the living room of my house instead of the gym at my job.  I must admit I do miss my Bikram Yoga classes.  Unfortunately, the cost was just to much.  No worries though...I'm budgeting my finances to be able to pay for 1 full year of unlimited yoga.  That's my goal. 

I want to take this time to wish each of you a Happy New Year.  Last year is gone...let it go.  Today, tomorrow and the rest of the year is yours for the taking. 

A wonderful blogger has returned.  Grace has been gone for awhile, but she is back and ready to take back over her life.  She is going through right now.  Please stop by her blog and offer up your support.  Thanks!!

Ten Things Thursday

I haven't done one of these in awhile.  But I think it's just what I need today.  Thanks LauraBelle for starting this.

1.  I had my lapband removed on Wednesday, December 12, 2012. 

2.  I was revised to VSG a.k.a. the sleeve at the same time.

3.  My surgery went great.  I stayed in the hospital until Friday, because Thursday night when my doctor showed up I was feeling a little nausea so he asked me to stay.

4.  I've always hated being on liquids.  This is no exception.  I still ate it.  I will always hate it and I can't wait for it to be over.

5.  I took the kids to see Santa today.  My 1 year old (he will be 2 on New Years Day) took off running and my mom had to go catch him.  So I have a Christmas picture of on 2 of my 3 kids.  Nice.  This memory making stuff is hard as hell. Especially when the kids want cooperate.

6.  I go to my post-op appointment tomorrow.  I pray to all the WLS gods and goddesses that my diet is advance to Stage 2.  Did I mention I hate liquids.  LOL

7.  I am happy to say I paid all cash for Christmas this year.  It feels good..and it kept me from overspending.  Yup...I'm getting rid of all debt.  I want to be debt free when I start law school.

8.  I love my short hair...but I don't have much versatility as it grows out and that is boring.  I hate boring!!!

9.  That damn kid just threw a truck at me.  I'm telling yall...Bad ass!!!!

10.  Merry Christmas to you all.  May you remember that Jesus is the real reason for the season. 

Change is coming

Hello lovelies!!! 

This post is all over the place...you have been warned...

Change is coming.  The year is ending and a new year is beginning.  Many people will make promises that they don't intend to keep.  People who you thought were your friend will walk out of your life forever.  The person you thought you would always love you will move on.  Change is coming.  Change is a good thing my friends.  Let go of the past hurts and live in the present.  If someone walks out of your life...they were not meant to be there in the first place.  Keep on pushing on.

Change is coming for me too.  I'm thinking of going in another direction with my blog.  I once looked forward to logging in and talking with you all...but something is missing.  I know it's me.  So I have to find the direction that brings me joy...because I truly enjoy speaking with you.

In band related news...wow this will be my last time typing those words.  Tomorrow I lose my band forever.  Yup...big day.  There are many people who have lost their band and begin to speak negatively about it.  I won't be one of those people.  My band was an awesome tool.  I still believe the band is an awesome tool.  I think each journey is different...and I know that each person has to find their own way. 
Onward and upward my friends...this isn't the end...it's just a change!!!

In other news...a good friend of mine had a job interview today.  She is an awesome little slice of Texas sunshine.  I pray she gets the gig...because it is the perfect job for her. 

Are you all ready for Christmas?  I am.  It's even better because all gifts were bought with cash...no using credit for this kid.  My kids are really excited about Christmas.  I think I will take them to visit Santa on Monday.  I can't wait.  I'm hoping the youngest doesn't cry this year...but if he does...so what...still a cute picture. Also if you have kids who write a letter to Santa please take it to Macy's and put it int he mailbox.  For every letter sent to Santa Macy's donates money to the make a wish foundation. 

Banded for 2 years

Good morning babies!!!!  Friday marked 2 years that I have been banded.  It was an uneventful day.  My band has been completely empty since August 8th.  Three months of no restriction.  I've lost and gained the same 3 pounds over and over again.  I'm not angry. I still love my band...even though I'm having her removed next month.  Without my band I would never have met some of the most amazing women ever.  Even if our meeting is only in cyberspace...each of you have enriched my life for the better.

I encourage you to keep fighting the good fight.  For those who are stalled in their weight loss...don't give up.  NEVER GIVE UP!!!  Don't do it for your family, don't do it for your husband or kids...or to make people receive you better.  You have to do it for you...if you don't do it for you...it won't work.  Before anybody else can love and accept you...you must first learn to love and accept yourself.

I have ALWAYS loved me...sometimes to much in the opinion of my friends and family.  But I had to love myself if ever I expected anybody else to love me.  I'm still fighting the good fight...I'm still planning on meeting my weight loss goals.  It make take a lot longer than I anticipated. Then I remember it took years to reach 311 pounds...it may take years to reach 175...but I'll get there.

So onward and upward my friends.  I'm not giving up and neither should you!!!!

Peek a boo...I see you!!!

Okay.  I really need some adult conversation in my life.  I can't believe that is my title. LOL

What's going on my peeps?  How are you all doing?  I miss you so.  I'm reading blogs daily...your lives are so much more interesting than mine.  I'm reading on my phone so I don't comment often.  I have stopped reading blogs at work because they have decided to start monitoring our Internet activity.  Damn government!!!

So what is going on with Dawnya?  Not a damn thing.  Like seriously...all I'm doing is raising kids and trying to keep my head above water.  My kids are growing like weeds, which means they ALWAYS need something which means I can't shop for me.  No effing fair!!!  But they are so damn cute!!!

My husband received a promotion at work.  It's for a job he was already doing, but now he will get paid for it.  So that makes it worth it.  He is also in school working toward a undergraduate degree.  I'm extremely proud of him right now.

My band is still loosey goosey.  I will have a surgery date before the end of the month.  I will more than likely drink my Christmas dinner.  By the way...why did the damn year go so fast!!!  I can't believe it is almost over.

I have been trying to finish this year strong on the health and fitness front.  However, I have been under the weather for over a month.  Like seriously I have had the same cough for a month.  The cough was so forceful that I threw my back out.  I actually thought it was something I did at work...but I was wrong.

I'm on the mend now and determined to reach my health and fitness goals by my birthday in July. 

Okay...I guess that's it.  I will try to post more...but no promises.  Love you all and hope you are having a great day!!!