I love a good challenge

So I started a weight loss challenge with some ladies at work.  It is so much fun.  Apparently, I inspire them.  Who would have thunk it?!?  Well today was the second weigh in.  One of the participants just left me office on a natural high.  She lost 1.6 lbs.  Ya'll it just made me smile so much to see that look on her face. 

What I love even more is that I have convinced these ladies to start moving more.  Each of the 6 participants worked out at least 3 times last week.  They have all commented on how much better they are feeling already. 

Keep challenging yourselves ladies.  I know I will. 

Have a great Wednesday!!!!

Feeling better and Moving on

Thanks for all of your comments.  I'm feeling much better.  I appreciate all of your well wishes.

I'm moving on with my health and fitness goals.  They could change at any given time.  Everyday is different.  The only thing that won't change is I will keep fighting the good fight to reach my goals. 

Those goals have nothing to do with a number on the scale or the number inside of my clothes.  They have to do with doing things I couldn't do before.  Making changes that will make my life easier...allowing my kids to live their lives with me by their sides.

I'm over the numbers people.  I'm more concerned with the living.

In saying that...my post will be few and far between...unless I get a bug up my ass and feel the need to post about it.  I will continue to follow each of you and read an comment as I see fit.

Stay healthy...and keep moving!!!

Sick

Being sick sucks.  I have a cold/virus or something like that.  I feel like I'm living at death's door.  I'm at work though. Why?  Because I don't have a backup to input payroll.  Even though I have the largest department to input payroll for...I don't have a back up.  But people who do payroll for 3 damn people have a backup.  Can you tell I'm not happy? 

Oh well.  I hope everyone is having an awesome week!!

Ten Things Thursday

The beautiful Laura Belle came up with this little ditty.  I'm not linking her name because yall know who she is.

1.  I'm fucking sleepy.  I know this is a recurring thing with me..but damn...I just want to sleep...like I want to wake up and not feel like I'm going to kill myself on the drive to work.  Yes, I sleep drive. I'm pretty sure it is worse than drunk driving and texting.  It is so sad.  Thankful that God protects babies and fools...we all know I"m no baby. Lack of sleep has been connected to obesity.  Well damn I'm a walking poster board.

2.  My eating SUCKS like a hooker at the rodeo.  I know it is because I'm not planning my meals...but I'm fucking tired...see number one. I get up for work at 5 am.  I'm out the door by 5:45.  I get home at 4:45 pm.  I spend time playing with my kids...then I jump in the car to go do some form of exercise.  Depending on the day...I don't get home to after 9 pm.  I don't go to bed until 11:30 or midnight. Just to do it all over again. 

3.  I feel guilty about working out...because I feel like I'm not spending enough time with my kids.  My 3 and 2 year old always ask me when I'm getting ready..."you going to workout Mama?"  Then they beg to come with me.  Of course they don't get to go.  I think everyone is a potential pedophile so they are NOT going to childcare at the gym...just my thing.  Plus where I go to exercise usually is somewhere without child care or it is to late for that.  I just don't want them to feel like Mama doesn't love them...but I have to workout...I have to.

4. My mother is pissed at me...so she hasn't spoke to me since Tuesday.  Yup...we live in the same house.  I won't apologize...not my thing.  Even though she is not speaking to me...I keep talking to her.  It is making her even madder..which makes me laugh.  Yes...I'm evil.

5.  I miss being active in church.  Between exercising, being tired and trying to spend time with my kids...I'm only going to church on Sunday and Wednesday and not being an active member.  That is really bothering me spiritually.  I will be in constant prayer about this.

6.  My job is draining the life out of me.  This place has stolen my smile.

7.  My 2 year old refuses to use the damn potty.  Seriously...dude is turning 3 in September.  I can not deal with this drama.  I need him to piss in the toilet.  I'm so over diapers.  Sure I will still have one in diapers..but he is only 1.  This is unacceptable.

8.  My daughter decided to scream in the store this weekend.  Her exact words were, "Mama, my vagina itches."  Her little brother responded with, "My penis itches too."  If I were lighter I'm sure I would have turned 15 shades of red.  It was funny as hell.  Because they were so serious.  People were looking at me like I was crazy.  My daughter is convinced that an itchy vagina is the way to say she needs to go to the bathroom.  I don't know where she gets this shit.

9.  My husband is an idiot...that is all!!!

10.  Did I mention how sleepy I am.  I want to crawl under my desk and lay my head in the chair and take a quick 15 minute nap.  I'm pretty sure before 10 my head and my desk will meet.  I hope it doesn't hurt.

Why do you make me be mean to you?

Many people think I'm this sweet girl.  For the most part that is true...but I'm a real mean girl the majority of the time.  I don't give second chances. You get one time to jump on my bad side...I'm just done with you.  I will forgive you...but I will cut off all communication and the "friendship" or whatever it is was will be over.

When it comes to strangers...I try to be kinder.  However, there are times when I just need them to know...I am not to be effed with today. 

Last night was a perfect example.  I went to the pool at the gym...to practice what I learned last week.   To work on my kick and to allow myself to become more comfortable with the water.  Well about 20 minutes in a cute little couple shows up.  Young kids...but fit and ready to do some laps.  The pool had other people in other lap lanes swimming laps.  I'm just staying in my small section "swimming" back and forth...not even very far.  Well the little snot of a boyfriend swims down to my end.  He says...out of the blue...no hello...no nothing.  "It's not good to wear goggles when  you are learning to swim."  I looked around to see who he was talking to.  That fool was talking to me.  So I politely say..."Are you planning on giving me swim lessons this evening?"  To which he replied, "I was just trying to be helpful."  I replied, "Unless you plan on being my swim instructor, thank you for your advice...but keep it to yourself."  Yup I was in a mood.

So I continue to do my thing.  He and his little girlfriend are swimming back and forth.  Well I guess I'm in their way.  The little fucker proceeds to ask me if I can move to another area, since I don't really know how to swim and they are trying to race/practice (not sure which).  After I looked at him like he had 3 heads.  I had to go in on him.  I didn't raise my voice or even use profanity (which is rare for me, because I so enjoy profanity).  I told him that he was rude and should learn to respect his elders.  I also told him that it was even ruder to ask someone to get out of the pool because they couldn't swim at the same level as him.  Then I proceeded to tell him that if he didn't get away from me ASAP we were going to have some serious issues..

I try to be kind to people...but I will hurt your feelings if you say the wrong thing to me.  Needless to say...him and his little girlfriend left the pool area.  I emailed a complaint to the manager last night.

Hey, Fat Girl

Stacy over at Time to get Real (follow her...she rocks) posted this link.  I'm posting it too.

I cried...because it was so on point. 

Thanks for sharing Stacy.

Hey, Fat Girl

First swim lesson

Tonight was my first swim lesson...and it was AWESOME!!!  I love every minute of being in the water.  I wasn't the least bit afraid.  My friend De-De the president of the Austin chapter of Sisters Tri-ing helped me out a great deal.  She taught me how to breath under water.  How to turn my head and get air and go back in and breath. 

I'm so excited.  She taught me a few other things but I'm sleepy and I can't remember.

Tomorrow I'm going to buy a paddle board so that I can continue to practice on my own.  This is going to be a great summer!!!

I wish you all a happy, fun filled weekend!!!

Talking about my band issues

I recently eluded to having some issues with my band.  However, I didn't go into detail informing you of what those issues were.  The reason is I didn't want to talk about.  So many of those in the blogosphere have become "unhappy" with their band. This has resulted in a lot of people blaming the band for their lack of weight loss success on jumping on the revision wagon...I guess some feel that's what to do when you stop losing...

...no...what you do is take a good long hard look at yourself and face the truth.  You are eating crap, you aren't moving...you are just not working your band.  Ugh...let me get off my soap box.

On May 1, 2012 I went in for a fill.  I had not had a fill since November 16th.  My 1 year bandiversary.  It was either get a fill or start biting people...because I was hungry.  It was an extremely small fill .3.  It put me at 8 cc.  I was excited.  Fast forward 3 days later...I could barely swallow my own damn spit.  Umm...something was rotten in Denmark.  However, this happened on Friday night.  So I sucked it up and wait until Monday.  I called first thing that morning.  I got in. X-rays showed and slipped band with dilation.  What the what?!?!?  Needless to say I was pissed.  I mean seriously...My band was fine a week ago...now it's slipped and dilated.  BS!!!

So I had to have an unfill...not a complete unfill...just enough to allow my band to heal and work itself back into place.  I did this.  I struggled the first 7 days on full liquids.  It was REALLY  hard for me.  I made it to mushies/soft food and I was happier than sissy with a bag full of ding-a-lings. 

I made it through the month.  I went back in today.  My band has worked itself back into place and things are fine.  I received a fill.  Thank you sweet baby ray...because I was eating anything that wasn't plywood.  It was bad.  I only gained 2 lbs over the month...I will take it. 

Now let me get real.  I contacted another bariatric office to prepare myself for a revision.  Yup...I don't do well with complications.  So let's get prepared just in case this band doesn't work out.  Not because I want a revision because that is what the cool kids are doing.  My plan was to get the revision if my band decided not to cooperate. 

I'm still an advocate of the band...complication and all.  I will still recommend the band to those who want WLS.  I will continue to work my band.  However, I do have other options...and if it boils down to it I will have a revision.  Mama still has tons of weight to lose.

Chop Chop!!

On my journey to a healthier me I had to do something about my hair.  As I mentioned before I was going to grow out my relaxer into my natural hair.  Well...that would have taken to damn long.  And I have no dang patience.  So I chopped off all my beautiful hair today. 

NSV

I love finding clothes in my house. It's always fun.  I tried on a pair of shorts yesterday that I haven't worn since August of 2007.  They were skin tight and barely breathable then.  Yesterday...they fit great...actually they were loose.  SCORE!!!

I found several items in my chiffarobe that I didn't even know I had saved.  Well they are either fitting or to big.  I love it when a plan comes together.  LOL

Nothing exciting my life.  I realize I CAN'T run on the treadmill.  Each time I've tried...I fall...off the damn treadmill.  So I'm an outside runner.  With the weather changing this is going to present a challenge.  Even if I run at night (which I do), it's hot as hades in Texas.  We shall see what happens.

I start my swim lessons this weekend.  I'm so excited.  I'm going to do 3 lessons solo...so that I'm no longer afraid of the water...then my daughter is going to join me.  I want to get my fear of the water out of the way before she starts.  If Mama can do it then she can do it. 

Does anyone take Spin classes?  Okay...let me rephrase this.  Does anyone with a big butt take Spin classes?  I just need to make sure my bottom can make it on one of those seats.  Or can I go buy a big girl seat just for the occasion?

Remember the date...

...it's the official start of my natural hair journey.  I've had the individual braids in my hair for 1 month exactly.  It was a fun ride...but they had to go.  So the braids our out.  I have exactly 2 weeks until I get the kinky twists hairstyle.  So that is 2 weeks for me to get reacquainted with my hair.  I have purchases some products that will help me over the next 2 weeks.  I'm also watching tons of videos and reading great inspirational stories.  So if anyone has some suggestions or know of some information sites and videos...please let me know.

My weight loss journey.  I'm starting carb and sugar detox AGAIN!!!  Yup...because of the issues I'm having with my band (that I have not discussed...so you didn't miss anything).  I used certain foods (bread and ice cream) to help me cope.  Well that ends now.  I have goals to meet. I can't meet them feeling sorry for myself.  I'm a fighter if ever there was one.  I will make it to my birthday goal...and my Vegas vacation (October) goal. 

I hope everyone has a wonderful Memorial day weekend.  Remember the men and women who have given their lives so that we can live in the land of the free and the home of the brave!!!

Out of control eating

Seriously...I have to get away from the bread and bread like products.  Since my unfill...I can eat a small cow.  Like I have the exact amount in my band right now that I had at surgery!!! 

I have been killing it on the food...it is so said.  It just goes to show that I'm still learning.  I will never be perfect...and food and I will always have a unique relationship. 

So I went to Bikram Yoga on Saturday...105 degree room, 26 poses, 90 minutes.  It was hotter than Satan's crotch in that damn place...and funky!! But I managed to stay in the room and do most of the poses.  Here is the crazy part....I went back yesterday for 90 more minutes of HELL...and I will go for the next 3 days.  I'm not saying I'm going to become addicted.  But I'm always willing to step out of my comfort zone.

My knee has been bothering me...I think I jerked it out during Body Pump.  To much weight.  I might have to eliminate Body Pump from my workout because I need to run....WTF...yup...I said I need to run.

Because my knee has been bothering me I have not run this week.  I'm taking the week off (at least I think I am...).  So yoga it is.  I will find some other cardio and weight training options soon. 

I will start my swim lessons in June.  I can't wait. I hope to become so go that I can swim laps...that would be awesome

Enjoy your hump day!!

Fear

Yes...it's coming back up.  Unlike many...I'm not afraid of losing the weight and getting to goal (though it is taking longer than I would like).  I'm afraid of my ability to succeed in a professional setting.  Sure, I'm qualified...but how will I ever know if I don't submit the resume.  I guess getting so many green bills makes me afraid to try again.  It is eating me up inside.  What if I do/say the wrong thing.  Ugh.  I really want this job.  However, I will feel like an utter failure if I don't even BQ.  So frustrating!!  Well back to work on my resume I go.  I will apply.  I will BQ...and this job will be mine.  If God says the same!!

BTW...there is no need to comment on this post.  I just needed to get it out.  Charles would only be his encouraging self...I just wanted to vent.  PLEASE DO NOT RESPOND!!!  Thanks!!

RIP to the Queen of Disco - Donna Summers

I'm a huge fan of disco.  I was saddened to learn that Ms. Summers had lost her battle with cancer.  In tribute...here is one of my favorite songs.  I listen to it every night as my warm up before my run.

This One's for the Girls and Dream Big

Listen to the lyrics of the song...it's very uplifting.  Remember:  YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL THE WAY YOU ARE!!!

Dream Big ladies....hear the lyrics...stop letting others determine your worth!!!