Fear has been a constant companion for me for many months now. I still can not understand why. I have tried to live my life fearlessly. I have always faced situations head on even when I knew I would walk away heart broken and down trodden.
However, right now I am afraid. I worked diligently for 2 years to obtain my Master's degree. It was a major accomplishment for me. I just knew it would open up many doors for me to succeed. Yet, I'm still "stuck" in my job. I feel empty inside when I'm in that place.
The fear is my being afraid to submit my resume for consideration for a position. I read the qualifications and I know I fit the bill. However, because my experience has been gained from several different positions, I always feel that will overlook me and that hurts.
Fear of rejection is keeping me from moving forward. I don't know what to do.
Fear that I will be the "one" who the band just doesn't work for...is keeping me fat.
Fear of failing is keeping me from trying.
Why after all these years am I afraid. Gosh I wish I new the answer....I wish I knew.
19 comments:
My friend, you worked sooo hard to accomplish all you have - you're qualified, and YOU ARE WORTH the benefits of your accomplishment.. The sooner you begin to rejoice in the fact that YOU got you where you are - others will see that confidence in you and will want to be part of it!
If a company hires you, GREAT! If not, wipe the dirt from your shoes and go for something better.. You deserve so much MORE than being at a place that hurts your heart so much...
We're all behind YOU!
Sweetie.. listen to me.. failure is when you quit, no one bats 1000, you need to keep trying and do your best.. Present as confidence and you are perceived as confident. Submit that resume, put a smile on your face and tell yourself.. I am the best person...go for it
Masters Degree !! What an accomplishment !! Who cares what some employer things about you? YOU are what matters ... and you need to pat yourself on the back and feel good about YOU !!
We all have a fear of failure at one point or another in our lives. It took me 19 years to finish my BACHELOR's degree! Don't take a hard time in the job market as anything personal, because there are thousands of people with Master's degrees who are out of work. The thing is that you are ready for the right opportunity when it comes around. You are the one who can control your future. If you let the fear take over, you will never win.
Girl, you are stronger than that! Kick fear's butt to the crub!!
My hubby has been putting resumes out for over a year now and he just got his FIRST interview last week. You win some, you lose some but you never know until you try. I've been so afraid of so many things and I'm overcoming them one by one. I think it's human nature. First, know that you're not alone. And second, know you can do anything you put your mind to. You've already proven that with your Master's Degree and the family you've built for yourself. Never doubt yourself. You're stronger than you think.
I completely understand you fear Dawnya, the trick is to not let it stop you. Easier said than done I know. I fear I won't ever finish my young adult novel. I fear I won't ever break free of some of my emotional issues (the need to be perfect, or at least appear perfect to those around me) fear of my finanical situation never improving, fear of failing yet another project I wanted to start. I don't know the trick to get past the fears, other than perhaps just to face them. Maybe small doses of the fear will help. I'm so sorry I don't have more clear answers or direction but I luv ya and am hear cheering you on!
You brought tears to my eyes as I read this. I think because I feel your fear too.
Dawnya, you have accomplished so much. Don't let fear of anything hold you back.
No one ever looked back on their life and regretted the things they at least tried to go for- only the things that were left undone.
I am sending you an electronic hug- I hope it gives you courage.
I hate that we let ourselves be controlled by fear! I am so guilty of that and I hat that I do it! You have worked so hard and are qualified. You just have to apply and believe that the right thing will open up for you. If you don't get hired don't take it as a personal rejection, but just that it's not the right job for you and there is something else better out there! Hugs!
You know, when I was in college we had to have art 'critiques' every project. I had to put up my photography and let EVERYONE judge it. It was horrible. I was so shy and young and hated rejection too. And criticism (I know, basically artist and criticism go hand in hand, right? I should've been used to it) was the worst.
But you know what I learned? It's not the rejection that determines my self worth. Rejection is just an opinion of some person, I mean really, right? Everyone is entitled to their opinions. It may not be what you agree upon, but it's THEIR opinion. It does not mean you have to believe that opinion. Or let that opinion dictate your life.It's just their suggestion.
And you know what, sometimes not listening to those rejections/opinions/suggestions/FEAR ends up being the best thing for you. It makes you a better person, or allows you to find a better job, or helps you lose that weight...in the long run.
You're amazing, and anyone/anything that doesn't see that isn't worth fearing.
You are qualified, so you should apply. The worst they can say is no! That's my motto in life. But you know what? They could also say yes!
You're a strong, amazing woman. And you can do anything you set your mind to. Please don't lose sight of that!
You've got some really good comments here and I don't know that I have anything any better to add but to say, listen to them. If you want to make changes, you have to take chances. You CAN do it! You WILL do it!
Just think, in 3 more days, you are going to meet me and what on earth is better than that?? HAHA! See you soon, my friend.
I get excatly what you're saying. I haven't even taken the GRE yet.. afraid after being out of collage I'll not be able to take a test. That I won't do well enough to get into Grad school, that I'll get in, and the Master's won't matter, etc. I also whole heartedly understand the fear that I'll be that person that the band doesn't work for them. I get it. I'm glad I'm not alone, and wish I could be there to hug you and support you and say that you can do it! (and have you say the same to me)
<3 Sam
I think there's something about our 30's that cause us to get all caught up with fear sometimes. I know for me it started with having kids and worrying that they were going to die or be kidnapped. All of the difficulties of life seem so intense (money, relationships, jobs). Grandparents suffer ill health and pass on. That certainty that life was going to be okay that we had in our 20's is damaged by the evidence that it doesn't always work out that way. Of course this recession has messed with us all.
I wish I had some words of wisdom! I think you're fabulous and I know the band will work for you. Push yourself a bit to put out resumes and network when you see a job that interests you. Better things are coming your way!
Don't worry about failure...just think about the potential of what is to come...Thank you for being candid...I view your posts as so confident and full of life. I know you are a woman who can move mountains!!!!
Fear Schmear. Wouldn't it be great if it was just that easy? Fear cripples all of us at different times. And everyone above me said some lovely things - you'll get no where if you do nothing. You're smart, and pretty, and competent... go for it. And if they tell you no - even if they tell you No fucking way!! You've just weeded out one more place where you don't belong
But... the overwhelming thing that I thought of as I read this post was your positive and extremely supportive personality - so I'll turn this around on you...
Dear Dawnya,
I worked hard and got my masters degree, and I've gained all kinds of very good and relevant experience. The problem is the experience was gained in perhaps a non traditional manner - in that it came from a variety of places instead of just one - or maybe two. And yet, I'm dead scared to submit my resume for a job I know I would rock at. I'm sitting here feeling badly but am too scared to put in my resume because I don't want them to reject me. What do you suggest I do?
Thanks for your help,
Read
I understand those fears. I read a quote the other day that went something like "It's not who you are that keeps you from succeeding, it's who you think you're not."
I just recently started some guided meditation on "Life Mastery" -- we'll see how it goes. :)
Fear is nothing.
Courage is the thing... courage is being afraid and doing the thing you fear anyway.
Be courageous-- forget about making the fear go away, because I may never go away.
I hope this helps.
Let that fear be your motivation, I'm sure it has been the motivation to get your degree. So apply! You will never know what happens if you don't. And if you don't get it, on to the next. Usually fear is attributed to other triggers of things in your past..... just push beyond it.
Girl, you are awesome! You will succeed at whatever you put your mind to. It may not happen the first time, but keep at it, you will get there. Don't let fear stand in your way, of anything! Just remember, you are an amazing person, and you deserve amazing things!
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