Sorry I haven't posted much. I have been letting life and it's difficulties drag me into a hellish place. I've been meaner than usual (LOL), hostile and down right pissed off at the world. I have been rude to my mom, husband and kids. I hate when I get to this place. All because I have made mistakes that are causing me a great deal of stress.
Last night all that stopped. Not because I resolved my issues. But I realized I can't do it all. I am not superwoman (I know your shocked...hell I thought I was her too). I am just one person. I have flaws, I'm not perfect. I am just me.
The thing is I'm okay with just being me. I'm so exhausted from trying to save and help everyone else. No one ever steps up to save or help me. So it is time I took all the energy I put into others and focus it on me.
I'm living in the present!!! Not my mistakes of the past...or even the possibilities of the future. I need to live in today. I need to love Dawnya today!!
Challenge
My Tits to the Pavement challenge is going swimmingly (love that word). I will admit that I did not exercise on Monday or Tuesday. Nope...not even a little. I just moved. I did a lot of moving...so I still burned over 3000 calories. I'm chasing kids around all day...that's the only thing I can think of.
I am not getting enough water...so I am working on making that better. I think I finally found a protein powder that I enjoy thanks to BB (Boston Blackie) that's what I call my cousin. LOL Any who...she brought over some protein powder she uses. Mixed with milk, ice and little peanut butter and I was in protein powder heaven.
I planned on going out to purchase it yesterday, but the kids were not very cooperative. So I will go today after Zumba.
I plan on going hard core for the BOOBS Back to Basics Challenge. I would love to meet my fellow BOOBS looking oh so lovely.
NSV
Yesterday I wore a pair of size 20 pants (which are getting saggy butt already), and a 18/20 shirt. Well I don't know if it was the cut or just my body really changing. But a co-worker who is also a good friend (and 1 of 5 people I work with who know about my surgery) says to me...OMG...you look so slim today. I mean you really look slim...and sexy. I modestly said thank you. Then another co-worker...who annoys the living crap out of me stopped me on the the compound and said...you look really nice today...you have lost of ton of weight (so rude) and it looks good on you...but you always looked good to me (hence why he annoys me).
Both compliments kinda made me walk a little taller.
Pouch Test
I have read blogs where my fellow BOOBS did the 5 day pouch test. I decided that I am going to give it a go starting Thursday. I want to make sure that when I go for this exam on Tuesday everything is in order. So that I can be smug with that dang PA who would not give me a fill last month.
BTW...I am looking into changing practices. I envy you all when you say you saw your surgeon and he said this or that. I will never see my surgeon again. He doesn't come to the clinic to see patients or anything. You are stuck with the idiots like the PA who don't really care.
I'm not sure what I am going to do...but I would like a better post-op experience. Maybe meet with a nutritionist who doesn't have a smug attitude.
OK...that's all for now.
12 comments:
I struggle with trying to be everything to everyone as well. It helps me to remember the "Airplane Analogy" where they tell you to put on your own oxygen mask first before you help your child. At first, it sounds like horrible advice, but when you think about it, what good are you to your kid if you're dead? Good for you, for putting on your oxygen mask! :)
I specifically chose my surgeon because he has great aftercare, I wouldn't be able to stand it if he was one of those that you never saw again. :(
Good luck with the pouch test!
Oh, and I had to realize I wasn't everything to everyone about a month ago, it was a hard realization at the time... but I'm really grateful for it now. Hopefully, you'll have the same experience. It makes my relationships alot less strained. :)
I need to hear more about this pounch test. And Dawnya- I am loving you today too!
I just want to tell you how much I love you. Reading your blog and realizing how hard you work to get where you are makes me feel lazy and work a little harder, you inspire me!
I may also do the the pouch test following my fill on monday! I am so looking forward to rooming with you, and I know you are going to look smokin hot!
I've done the pouch test 3 times now and I like it each time. It does give me a much better sense of my pouch, but for me it completely reminds me that I'm in control of my life and not the other way around! I too love the word swimmingly, it's one of my favorites! Feel free to email me if you'd like to talk more about the pouch test!! mytrekdownward@gmail.com
xo!
Awww Dawnya, we love you dear. I was just thinking of you today wondering where you were lately. Glad things are ok, albeit a bit stressful dear.
I dislike my clinic, I saw my surgeon twice post op and won't be seeing him again unless there is some problem. I have a serious patient crush on him too. : ( He's got such a caring manner and really makes me feel important while I'm there. I dislike that I won't see him again. I wonder if I can specifically request him. I know he's in the office on Fridays. I'm going to try next time. :) Have a great day dear and continue to rock your challenge!
I really lucked out with my doc. If I had to deal with just the nutritionist and PA, I'd go nuts because they're both so dumb.
I'm glad you're making yourself a priority...you deserve to treat yourself well!
You may not be superwoman, but I think you are SUPER! Too cheesy?? :) One day at a time.
Keep at it!
Glad you are getting to a better place and not letting it keep you down!! I haven't heard about this pouch test. What is it?
Hey Pretty Lady!! I love your new photo on your "About Me" - you are one gorgeous Lady!!
And know that you ARE Superwoman - to so many of us!! And you are Superwoman on so many levels!! Thank you for being - YOU!
I have some 18/20 clothes that are work-worthy (though the shirts are long sleeve so maybe not great for now). But if you're interested, I can send them when I get back from vacay.
I also wanted to see if you'd be willing to let me pick your brain sometime about fostering. I'm not ready yet, but my husband and I have talked about becoming foster parents in the future.
if you want the clothes, email me your address at stateofzen at gmail. If not, no worries!
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