Challenge weigh in...and my weekend

So I sucked farts the first week of the B2B challenge.  I gained 1.3 lbs.  It's all good though.  I can't lose without exercising.  I will honestly tell you I only exercised 1 time this week.  Yup...just once.  As you know from previous posts I've been in a funk all week.  Well that funk said screw exercise.

It's all good though.  I am feeling better and making decisions that will benefit my family in the long run.  I am in a good place.  I hope to stay there all week.  The only problem with that...I have to go to work tomorrow.  They usually infiltrate my happy  place in 3.2 seconds.  It totally sucks.

Tomorrow Brandi and I are starting the 5 day pouch test. We are both very excited and know it's just what we need right now.  I have made a nice little soup for lunch and possibly dinner tomorrow.  I have my protein powder ready to mix and I will be taking some to work just in case. 

This weekend  went to the spa with a couple of friends from work.  I don't usually socialize with my "work" friends outside of the job.  The reason is...we only talk about the job.  I hate that.  But we managed to take a few hours and enjoy some time at the spa.  It was relaxing.  However, it did help me realize I need to get back into the routine of "me time". 

This is the package I received at the spa:

Summer Glow Spa Package

• Sauna with Cool Peppermint Towels
• One Hour Swedish Massage
• Oh-So Coconut-Vanilla Hydrating Body Wrap
• Gingerizer Foot & Calf Scrub
• Full Body Dry Brush Exfoliation
• Magic Mint Scalp Treatment
• Cool Cucumbers on the Eyes
• Take Home Gift Bag
• Served with Moroccan Mint Tea

It was nice.  I have an appointment for a 75 minute facial on my birthday.  I can't wait.  I might throw in another message.  I'm going on a hike on my birthday.  It should be fun.  It's a little under 5 miles.  I have not gone in sometime.  I was much heavier before and I completed it.  So this should be a breeze.  LOL

I hope everyone has a great work week. 

BYOC

It’s time for BYOC – Bring Your Own Crazy…a couple of questions we answer to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break! Copy and paste to your own blog and enjoy!

1. If you were asked to symbolize yourself as an animal – which animal would you be?

Super easy...I would be a butterfly.  People love to watch them fly...they also enjoy getting up close so they can marvel at their beauty.  I've always wanted to fly.

2. Did you ever play an organized sport – with coaches, rules and scoring? Tell us about it.

I was a cheerleader for many years.  Until I decided to just date the captain of the basketball team, the football team, the track team...etc.  LOL  I also ran track.  Until the coach pissed me off.  He told me to take my gold hoop earrings out during practice.  He would hold them for me.  No biggie.  The end of practice I forgot my earrings.  I ask him for them the next day and he says he told some other girl on the team to give them to me.  She said he didn't.  I would not have bothered me much, but they were the last gift my grandfather bought me before he died. 

I sliced a hole in his tires and keyed his car the following week.  I was mean...sorry.

3. When did you start shaving your legs?

Yup...I don't shave my legs.  Sorry.  That is dangerous.  I use Nair.  I didn't start using that until I was 21.  Before that I didn't have any darn hair on my legs.  I mess hairless legs.

4. When you’re in a crabby – pissy – want to stab everyone you see kind of mood – what do you do to get out of it or do you revel in it?

I go to a different room, or just do something random to get away from people.  I have a quick temper and I am not afraid to strike.  I am hoping to have my punching bag and speed bag up in the next couple of weeks, because that is what I will do. 

5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in blogland and in real life.

Blogland is freaking amazing as usual.  I have the most supportive group of sisters it's crazy.  Barb is in a happy place right now (it could be the drugs), but I'm happy about that.  Draz took over my friends life for a few days...but she is back...so I'm happy about that too.  Stephanie Joy is commenting and posting...I'm really happy about that.  I'm going to do the pouch test with my roomie Brandi...totally excited.  We are going to win this Challenge...so watch out people.  LO

Real life...ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bullets

Yup...it's one of those days!

• I didn't start the 5 day pouch test yesterday.  I will start on Monday.  My Chicago roomie Brandi and I are doing it together.  I'm excited.
• My husband is being a jerk.  I finally told him we need to sit down and discuss our finances this weekend.  Since that statement he has been walking around with his head up his ass.  So damn annoying.
• I did not work out on Monday or Tuesday.  No real reason why.  It just didn't happen.  And I didn't feel bad about it.
• My job is still....
• My daughter will be 3 this month.  However, she still refuses to listen and I have to scream and threaten her to get her to behave or do as I say.  That is not the parent I want to be.
• My son will be 2 in September.  Everyone this he is bad and hard headed but me.  He listens to me...and he always puts a smile on my face.
• Did i mention my job?  Ugh
• This weekend is supposed to be about relaxation...spa day for my birthday.  However, if "he" keeps being a jerk it will take away from the fun.
• Some days I want to park my car around the block and wait until my kids are asleep to go in the house.
• The damn IRS still hasn't sent my money...and they claim it could be another month before they get to our correspondence.  WTF?!?!?!?
• I feel like I'm swimming upstream. 
• I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.
• I miss my smile!!!

Living in the Present

Sorry I haven't posted much.  I have been letting life and it's difficulties drag me into a hellish place.  I've been meaner than usual (LOL), hostile and down right pissed off at the world.  I have been rude to my mom, husband and kids.  I hate when I get to this place.  All because I have made mistakes that are causing me a great deal of stress.

Last night all that stopped.  Not because I resolved my issues.  But I realized I can't do it all.  I am not superwoman (I know your shocked...hell I thought I was her too).  I am just one person.  I have flaws, I'm not perfect.  I am just me. 

The thing is I'm okay with just being me. I'm so exhausted from trying to save and help everyone else.  No one ever steps up to save or help me.  So it is time I took all the energy I put into others and focus it on me.

I'm living in the present!!!  Not my mistakes of the past...or even the possibilities of the future.  I need to live in today.  I need to love Dawnya today!!

Challenge
My Tits to the Pavement challenge is going swimmingly (love that word).  I will admit that I did not exercise on Monday or Tuesday.  Nope...not even a little. I just moved.  I did a lot of moving...so I still burned over 3000 calories.  I'm chasing kids around all day...that's the only thing I can think of. 

I am not getting enough water...so I am working on making that better. I think I finally found a protein powder that I enjoy thanks to BB (Boston Blackie) that's what I call my cousin. LOL  Any who...she brought over some protein powder she uses.  Mixed with milk, ice and little peanut butter and I was in protein powder heaven. 

I planned on going out to purchase it yesterday, but the kids were not very cooperative.  So I will go today after Zumba.

I plan on going hard core for the BOOBS Back to Basics Challenge.  I would love to meet my fellow BOOBS looking oh so lovely. 

NSV
Yesterday I wore a pair of size 20 pants (which are getting saggy butt already), and a 18/20 shirt.  Well I don't know if it was the cut or just my body really changing.  But a co-worker who is also a good friend (and 1 of 5 people I work with who know about my surgery) says to me...OMG...you look so slim today.  I mean you really look slim...and sexy.  I modestly said thank you.  Then another co-worker...who annoys the living crap out of me stopped me on the the compound and said...you look really nice today...you have lost of ton of weight (so rude) and it looks good on you...but you always looked good to me (hence why he annoys me). 

Both compliments kinda made me walk a little taller. 

Pouch Test
I have read blogs where my fellow BOOBS did the 5 day pouch test.  I decided that I am going to give it a go starting Thursday.  I want to make sure that when I go for this exam on Tuesday everything is in order.  So that I can be smug with that dang PA who would not give me a fill last month.

BTW...I am looking into changing practices.  I envy you all when  you say you saw your surgeon and he said this or that.  I will never see my surgeon again.  He doesn't come to the clinic to see patients or anything.  You are stuck with the idiots like the PA who don't really care.

I'm not sure what I am going to do...but I would like a better post-op experience.  Maybe meet with a nutritionist who doesn't have a smug attitude.

OK...that's all for now.

Challenges

I am joining the Back to Basics Challenge.  Here is my starting photo.

Excuse the fat feet.

Now...As you can see the Tits to the Pavement Birthday Challenge is going well.  I'm almost there. 

Hope everyone has a great holiday.

BYOC

It's time for BYOC - Bring Your Own Crazy!  A few questions we answer in an effort to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break. Copy and paste to your own blog if you wish.  Enjoy!!

1.  Let's stick with the pictures/exercise and shoe topic and post a picture of (or describe) your work out shoes.

Umm..I wear my black and hot pink new balance running shoes when I'm walking or just dancing around.  I wear my all black Ryva shoes for Zumba.

2.  Again with the summer/hot theme of the week....what does your current swimsuit look like?

I do not own a swimsuit.  Is that wrong?  Maybe I should get one.  I have not owned a swimsuit since I was 12...and I had a bangin' body until my 20's.

3.  Do you lay out, fake bake, sunless spray tan or use tanning lotion?

I was born with a natural tan...this doesn't apply to me.  LOL

4.  Describe your week in blogland and in real life.

Blogland - Barb is having surgery today...she is on my mind.  Read had her first counseling session with Brad...she is on my mind.  Gilly issued a damn 13 week challenge.  I have to do it...but I will curse up a storm as I do.  I need to look super duper fly at BOOBS.  LOL.  Cat has been kinda quiet this week.  I have to send her an e-mail.

I feel like a mother hen in Blogland...I'm always worried about my girls when they get quite.  For example...where the hell is Donut Butt?  I worry.  Sue me. Laura Belle almost killed Bambi.  She is lucky she is so cute...or else I would have to take her out.

Real life...I have 3 kids under the age of 3....my life sucks purple monkey toes.  I still hate my job...I mean this place is draining the life out of me.  But this too shall pass...I'm confident.

On a happier note...today is July 1st.  The first day of my birth month.  I celebrate the entire month.  Feel free to celebrate with me...or for me.  This is the month that I drink....yeah baby...I can't wait.  I love my birthday. There are spa days planned, a new camera bag, shopping, hooky from work and home days...and plenty of nights on the town.

So what will you do to celebrate me this month?  LOL

Stuff

On Monday I was so excited to post about my loss on my challenge.  It was exciting.  So check out the self-sabotage that followed. 

I was at work when I found out that I had a dentist appointment at 1 o'clock.  I left work and did the dentist thing.  At this point I'm starved, because I had so much to accomplish in the short time that I was at work so I didn't have my breakfast or even a snack. 

After my wonderful dentist appointment (great teeth), with my gorgeous Indian/Arabian...or something dentist...he is so hot...I proceeded to lunch.  I did the Red Lobster thing again as I love their shrimp scampi.  I ordered the shrimp scampi with a salad and baked potato.  Well you know how they bring you out those delicious cheese biscuits...which I ignore.  Not this day.  I ate both of those dang biscuits while eating my salad.  Then I proceeded to devour my scampi and baked potato.  Here is where the drama starts.  I ordered a freaking dessert.  It was a lava cookie with ice cream or some crap like that...and I ate the whole damn thing (I NEED A FILL LIKE YESTERDAY).  At any rate...needless to say I felt like a fat pig after that meal.  I had this lunch/dinner around 2:45.  I didn't eat again until breakfast on Tuesday. 

The thing about accountability...when you log your food...you log it all.  Even the 1070 calorie dessert I had.  Do you see that damn number.  That is effin' ridiculous!!  I ate it...so I logged it.  Here is where Monday gets worse.  My lazy (stuffed) behind did not do any exercise on that day.  That is one of my exercise days.  Which means I have to exercise on a non exercise day to make up for it.  Boo!! 

Tuesday was a much better day.  I had my raisin bran crunch for breakfast, sardines in mustard sauce (yummy) for lunch with wheat things.  For dinner or snack..I had my son's pizza rolls (3). 

Exercise on Tuesday included a 5 mile walk (not on purpose).  Seriously I would have never walked that far on purpose.  I went for my walk last night.  I'm thinking just go a little longer Dawnya (the scenery was beautiful)...next thing you know I've walked way to far.  I thought of calling Charles and having him to come get me.  LOL   

I walked in the door after the walk and popped Jillian and her annoying voice into the DVD player.  Turned on Pandora and kicked butt on the push-ups.  LOL

Last night I also threw some veggies and sauce in the crock pot (Laura Belle suggested it) and grilled 2 chicken breast.  I had that for lunch.  It was tasty and spicy.  I love spicy.

I hope everyone is have a good week.  Let's keep our BOOBS uplifted this week.  So many are dealing with a lot.  Remember them in your prayers. 

Zumba tonight.  What are you doing to sweat away the pounds?!?

Blogger sucks monkey toes

Is it just me?  I am getting updates in dashboard...hours after I have already read the actually blog.  What the hell is going on? 

What problems are you encountering with blogger?

Challenge update

The weekend went well.  I spent time with friends and my "other" family.  It was nice to see my kids warm up to and play with others.  Well at least my daughter did.  My son was glued to my side.  That is until the ducks showed up and he could feed them.  LOL  It was beyond adorable.

Challenge

The Tits to the Pavement birthday challenge is still going strong.  The challenge was modified to working out 5 days a week.  My five days of working out consist of the following:

Sun/Wed/Sat - Zumba and Jillian's 30 Day Shred (1 hour and 20 minutes)
Mon/Tues - Rollerblading/walking/dancing around the house/stair master, etc., and Jillian's 30 Day Shred (1 hours and 20 minutes)

My Monday and Tuesday workout is not structured at all.  It's whatever suits my fancy at the moment I decide I want to work out.  That is the work out I do. 

When my challenge officially started on June 13th I weighed 279.8.  As of this morning the 2nd week into the challenge I weigh 274.5.  I consider that 5.3 lb loss a great start.  Especially since I only want to lose 10 lbs.  However, I will take all the extra I can get.  LOL

Well that is all for me right now.  I may have more to say later.

Thankful!!

Growing up in the church I remember every song that was ever sung that had a profound impact on my life.  One of those songs is "Everyday is a day of Thanksgiving"  Here are a few of the lyrics:

Everyday is a day of Thanksgiving

God's been so good to me

Everyday He's blessing me

Everyday is a day of Thanksgiving

Take some time to glorify the Lord today.

Today I am feeling so thankful.  Thankful for my family.  Thankful this blog and all the wonderful women I have met through this blog.  I am fulfilled today. 

I say this because I wanted to tell you all today that I am thankful for you.  I am thankful for your friendships.  I can't wait to meet each of you. 

If you are thankful for someone today.  Please let them know.  Tomorrow is not promised.  It is amazing of that life can be gone in an instant. 

Hug the ones you love today.  Call that family member or friend who you have not spoken to and tell them that all is forgiven.  Let them know that you love them. 



BYOC

It's FRIDAY so that means it's BYOC - Bring Your Own Crazy!  We answer a couple of questions in an effort to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break!  Copy and paste and answer in your own blogs if you'd like!!  ENJOY!!

1.  What’s your favorite room in your house?
My office.  I can go in there and relax for hours.  I can play on the computer.  Or I can relax and read.  Both are my favorite things to do.  I love my office.  The kids are only allowed in there with adult supervision. 

2.  Picture question (or describe if you don't have a camera).  Show us a pic of your current favorite earrings!

My diamond studs that Charles gave me one year...just because.  I love them.  I try to wear them often. 

3.  What’s your dress code at work? If you stay at home and went back to work outside the home, what dress code would you prefer?

I work for the federal government so our so called dress code is business or business casual.  However, some people don't know what that means.  I just really wish people would iron their damn clothes before coming to work.  And purchase a lent brush and get all the pet hair off.  Thanks!!

4.  Summarize your week in real life and in blog land.   
Blogland: Everyone is getting so excited about blogs.  I have new followers, and I have found new blogs to follow.  Like I really need to read more stuff.  But I can't help it.  I love this thing called blogland. 

Real life:  Trying to figure out why when the IRS owes you money they can't be reached on the phone.  However, let you owe them money and they will dig up your great uncle on your daddy's side to see if he can loan it to you from the afterlife.  I mean really people...give me my damn money.

Taking the kids to the park for a birthday party this weekend.  It should be interesting.  Grateful for my family and friends this week.  Grateful that tomorrow is a new day and that God will still love me...fat or skinny. 

Still working on my Challenge daily. 

Have a great weekend everyone!!

Support

As I sit here in my size 20 (started at 24) pants I have a smile on my face.  Not because of the pant size, but because of the support I receive from my BOOBS.

It just so happens that yesterday I was feeling kinda like a band failure and that this was not going to work.  I had a short but sweet text conversation with a fellow BOOB.  I let her know what I was feeling.  She asked me if I was participating in my local support group.  I told her no, because I don't really like the people at my office.  The only support I have are my BOOBS and my husband and mom. 

She offered me even more support over the phone.  It was really uplifting.  She was able to lift me up out of my funk even with all she has been through.  Thank you so much.  I love you, Jen.  I can't wait to meet you in person. 

I feel renewed today. 

I will try to find a local support group.  It would be nice to have a local band buddy. 

I have tons of work to get off my desk today.  I will post again later about challenge updates. 

New blogger alert

Hey everyone.  Vickyd stopped by my blog and commented.  So of course I visited her blog.  She was banded December 2010.  She could use some BOOBS love.  Stop by and welcome her to the family.

http://myshrinkingbelly.blogspot.com/

the fill that did not happen

This morning I had a 7 am appointment for a fill.  My last fill was April 26th.  I cancelled the last two fills in May and early June, because I felt that I was in a good place.  After the last week of eating crap and lots of it I knew it was time for a fill. 

I have lost 5 lbs on their scale since my last visit (putting me at 277 on their scale).  Not much considering it was almost 2 months ago.  However, when I saw which PA was scheduled to do my fill I knew it was not going to happen.  She has been bitching about a possible dilation since I got at 5.5 cc's.  Why?!?  Good question.  I never have reflux, I have PB'd and vomited a few times, but that was all operator error on my part.  Keep in mind...she did all my previous fills under x-ray.  No sign of dilation.

I tell her I often eat and then I'm full for the allotted amount of time, but this is not on a continuously basis.  I also told her that I snack...a lot.  I mean if I'm grazing all the time that is a sign...in my book anyway.

She refused to give me a fill.  She wants me to come back and have some pictures taken of my band and we (meaning she) will decide if I need a fill.

Keep in mind that she was the same one who told me in March that I everything looks good. 

It really pisses me off that she didn't want to listen.  I know my body.  When I don't need a fill I cancel the appointments.  I need a fill.  That is why I showed up.

My day

Other than the crappy portion of the morning...my day was great.  Let me tell you why.  I played hookie today.  My mom and Charles assumed I went to work after my appointment.  I didn't!!  Instead I went to the hairdresser (they thought my appointment was this afternoon).  I got my oil changed in my car and a car wash.  Then I went for a little retail therapy.  I desperately needed some smaller pants as mine are all to big.  I went to ole' reliable LB.  Let me just say nothing in the store excited me at all.  However, I purchased to pair of pants and some bras.  That's it.  The pants are size 20 (NSV).  They are comfortable and hopefully will not be in rotation very long.  

Next I went to JC Penny.  I tried on several dresses...size 16 (major NSV).  Not only did they fit, but they fit well.  However, I didn't like the cost.  Ladies...if you see a dress that is not in your size and you like it...try it on anyway.  I am always able to buy dresses several sizes smaller than my actual size.  It's worth a try.

I finally used some DSW gift cards given to me.  One was given to me last year the other was given to me in 2005.  Thanks to my gift cards I was able to buy 2 pair of shoes for under 30 bucks.  I love a bargain.  Next I went to Nordstrom's Rack.  They always have shoes in my size (I have the largest feet in my family...size 11).  I bought the cutest brown shoes. 

Did I mention I took myself to lunch at Red Lobster.  I enjoyed a nice salad, shrimp scampi and blackened farm raised catfish.  I then went to Barnes and Noble and just hung out and read books for free on my nook. 

I finally came home.  It was a great day.

Challenge Update

Yesterday....I did not exercise.  Instead I did something I really need to do.  I actually went to bed and got some much needed sleep. I was in bed before 10 pm.  Let me just say that I am glad I went to bed early.  It made me feel better today.

Jillian day 2 was completed tonight.  My abs hurt.  What is wrong with that woman.  I have to add more music to my MP3 player.  Her voice annoys me. 

Vitamins and Protein

I've decided to get gummy vitamins as well as a B supplement.  I think this will help with my energy level and I will feel much better if I'm actually taken vitamins.  I'm waiting for the arrival of my protein drinks.  Thank you all for your suggestions. 

Portion Control

Lap Band Gal mentioned that she always knew she could eat more than a cup of food.  However, she made sure to only eat a cup.  I need to follow this frame of mind.  I would love to prepare food in advance...but I can't find the time.  I am hoping to come up with some ideas.  I think with the summer months upon us we may do a lot more grilling.  I think that will help.

I need to take buy a ton of 2 to 8 oz containers for my meals.  The problem is my house is ADA compliant...so my kids can get into every cabinet and drawer.  They think my containers are toys for their amusement.  Darn demons.

Weight loss

I have decided to acknowledge and accept that I am going to be a slow loser.  I was hoping for a substantial 1 year weight loss like so many others.  I don't see it happening.  I am happy with my weight loss thus far.  I will keep pushing forward. 

Progress is the best response to regret

Jillians Thirty Day Shred

So I read about this over at Chubby McGee's blog.  I researched it and thought...what the hell.  I'm going to do it tonight.  I may not be able to walk tomorrow, but oh well.  I need something...something to help me start losing.  I am not losing. 

I was reading some blogs and some comments on my blog.  I need more protein.  Like a shake or something.  I also need to start taking vitamins.  The vitamins I was taking before surgery are not band friendly.  I tried the liquid vitamin thing and that totally made me gag.  So vitamin suggestions would be greatly appreciated. 

I'm going to order some Premier Vitamin shakes tonight.  I have heard that are great.  I'm also going to order the Unjury protein shakes. 

Challenge
So I realized that working out 6 days was not a good idea for me.  LOL. So I'm sticking with 5 days a week.  I didn't workout on Friday.  However, I did on Saturday and I will be doing Jillian's tonight before going to bed. 

I'm scheduled to get off work early tomorrow.  If that works out I am going to go to the fitness center (it really needs an upgrade) at my job.  I have a plan on making the stair master my bitch.  I'm working my way up to 10 minutes at a time.  I am at 6 minutes now. 

So I have a fill appointment on Tuesday.  I'm not looking forward to it.  My TOM is here and I hate getting on the scale at this time. 

I have a few questions.  Please don't think I'm silly.  I often read where people claim they have "water weight".  What is that?  How do you know the difference?