Ten Things Thursday

I haven't done one of these in awhile.  But I think it's just what I need today.  Thanks LauraBelle for starting this.

1.  I had my lapband removed on Wednesday, December 12, 2012. 

2.  I was revised to VSG a.k.a. the sleeve at the same time.

3.  My surgery went great.  I stayed in the hospital until Friday, because Thursday night when my doctor showed up I was feeling a little nausea so he asked me to stay.

4.  I've always hated being on liquids.  This is no exception.  I still ate it.  I will always hate it and I can't wait for it to be over.

5.  I took the kids to see Santa today.  My 1 year old (he will be 2 on New Years Day) took off running and my mom had to go catch him.  So I have a Christmas picture of on 2 of my 3 kids.  Nice.  This memory making stuff is hard as hell. Especially when the kids want cooperate.

6.  I go to my post-op appointment tomorrow.  I pray to all the WLS gods and goddesses that my diet is advance to Stage 2.  Did I mention I hate liquids.  LOL

7.  I am happy to say I paid all cash for Christmas this year.  It feels good..and it kept me from overspending.  Yup...I'm getting rid of all debt.  I want to be debt free when I start law school.

8.  I love my short hair...but I don't have much versatility as it grows out and that is boring.  I hate boring!!!

9.  That damn kid just threw a truck at me.  I'm telling yall...Bad ass!!!!

10.  Merry Christmas to you all.  May you remember that Jesus is the real reason for the season. 

Change is coming

Hello lovelies!!! 

This post is all over the place...you have been warned...

Change is coming.  The year is ending and a new year is beginning.  Many people will make promises that they don't intend to keep.  People who you thought were your friend will walk out of your life forever.  The person you thought you would always love you will move on.  Change is coming.  Change is a good thing my friends.  Let go of the past hurts and live in the present.  If someone walks out of your life...they were not meant to be there in the first place.  Keep on pushing on.

Change is coming for me too.  I'm thinking of going in another direction with my blog.  I once looked forward to logging in and talking with you all...but something is missing.  I know it's me.  So I have to find the direction that brings me joy...because I truly enjoy speaking with you.

In band related news...wow this will be my last time typing those words.  Tomorrow I lose my band forever.  Yup...big day.  There are many people who have lost their band and begin to speak negatively about it.  I won't be one of those people.  My band was an awesome tool.  I still believe the band is an awesome tool.  I think each journey is different...and I know that each person has to find their own way. 
Onward and upward my friends...this isn't the end...it's just a change!!!

In other news...a good friend of mine had a job interview today.  She is an awesome little slice of Texas sunshine.  I pray she gets the gig...because it is the perfect job for her. 

Are you all ready for Christmas?  I am.  It's even better because all gifts were bought with cash...no using credit for this kid.  My kids are really excited about Christmas.  I think I will take them to visit Santa on Monday.  I can't wait.  I'm hoping the youngest doesn't cry this year...but if he does...so what...still a cute picture. Also if you have kids who write a letter to Santa please take it to Macy's and put it int he mailbox.  For every letter sent to Santa Macy's donates money to the make a wish foundation. 

Banded for 2 years

Good morning babies!!!!  Friday marked 2 years that I have been banded.  It was an uneventful day.  My band has been completely empty since August 8th.  Three months of no restriction.  I've lost and gained the same 3 pounds over and over again.  I'm not angry. I still love my band...even though I'm having her removed next month.  Without my band I would never have met some of the most amazing women ever.  Even if our meeting is only in cyberspace...each of you have enriched my life for the better.

I encourage you to keep fighting the good fight.  For those who are stalled in their weight loss...don't give up.  NEVER GIVE UP!!!  Don't do it for your family, don't do it for your husband or kids...or to make people receive you better.  You have to do it for you...if you don't do it for you...it won't work.  Before anybody else can love and accept you...you must first learn to love and accept yourself.

I have ALWAYS loved me...sometimes to much in the opinion of my friends and family.  But I had to love myself if ever I expected anybody else to love me.  I'm still fighting the good fight...I'm still planning on meeting my weight loss goals.  It make take a lot longer than I anticipated. Then I remember it took years to reach 311 pounds...it may take years to reach 175...but I'll get there.

So onward and upward my friends.  I'm not giving up and neither should you!!!!

Peek a boo...I see you!!!

Okay.  I really need some adult conversation in my life.  I can't believe that is my title. LOL

What's going on my peeps?  How are you all doing?  I miss you so.  I'm reading blogs daily...your lives are so much more interesting than mine.  I'm reading on my phone so I don't comment often.  I have stopped reading blogs at work because they have decided to start monitoring our Internet activity.  Damn government!!!

So what is going on with Dawnya?  Not a damn thing.  Like seriously...all I'm doing is raising kids and trying to keep my head above water.  My kids are growing like weeds, which means they ALWAYS need something which means I can't shop for me.  No effing fair!!!  But they are so damn cute!!!

My husband received a promotion at work.  It's for a job he was already doing, but now he will get paid for it.  So that makes it worth it.  He is also in school working toward a undergraduate degree.  I'm extremely proud of him right now.

My band is still loosey goosey.  I will have a surgery date before the end of the month.  I will more than likely drink my Christmas dinner.  By the way...why did the damn year go so fast!!!  I can't believe it is almost over.

I have been trying to finish this year strong on the health and fitness front.  However, I have been under the weather for over a month.  Like seriously I have had the same cough for a month.  The cough was so forceful that I threw my back out.  I actually thought it was something I did at work...but I was wrong.

I'm on the mend now and determined to reach my health and fitness goals by my birthday in July. 

Okay...I guess that's it.  I will try to post more...but no promises.  Love you all and hope you are having a great day!!!

Strength, Courage and Wisdom

Strength, courage and wisdom it's been inside of me all along!!!  Those words speak to me daily.  Those words make it impossible for me to throw in the towel.  I will not give up on my dreams, my goals on me.  I have the strength, courage and wisdom to make it all happen.  Sometimes it takes longer than anticipated...but I'll get there.

Monday I pulled a muscle in my lower back.  Not sure how...I was at work filing...nothing strenuous...but bam...I was unable to stand up straight.  I finally broke down and went to the doctor yesterday.  She gave me the "good" medicine.  LOL  That crap knocks you on your ass.  Unfortunately, I can't take it while at work...and lawd knows I'm in pain right now and wish I could. 

In other news I'm starting a 7 day challenge on Sunday (if my back cooperates).  This challenge includes a meal plan for the week and 6 days worth of exercise.  I'll keep yall posted on how things go. 

Nothing to report in band news...it's still in there and it's still empty.  I've decided to have a revision procedure done.  I'm going through the process of getting all of my ducks in a row so when it's time to submit to my insurance there will be no need for a denial.  I'm prayerful that I will have my procedure done in the month of December. 

I hope everyone is having a great week.

SMOOCHES

A dollar makes me holla....

...actually I need more than a dollar to holla, but I loves me some Honey Boo Boo and that is her saying.

What's up my peeps?!?!  So I lost some followers after my last post.  I don't know who...because I don't keep up with who follows me.  However, I wish them nothing but success in whatever they do in life.

Now on to my money issues.  I LOVE TO SHOP!!!  This is not typical shopping for many females.  This is nonstop...I gotta have it shopping.  Online at work...online at home...in the stores...thrift stores.  It doesn't matter.  I always "need" something.  Ugh...it is ridiculous on so many levels.  My shopping has put my finances in a tail spin of fuckedupness (I know it's not a word).  Has that stopped me from shopping?  Nope.  Now I shop...bring it home...try it on...take pictures for future references...then I take it back to the store.  Don't judge me!!!!!! 

I swear 'fo buttermilk if they had a big girl strip club here in Austin...I would jump back on the pole to feed my addiction.  LOL

On a serious note...why the hell do my kids grow every month.  Like seriously...nothing fits them this month that fit them last month.  I bought a sewing machine to learn to sew...but they are still growing while I'm learning.  It's funny...because they rarely leave the house except to play...so they are always in too small stuff.  LOL...I take pictures and send them to their Godmother so she can feel sorry for the them and buy more clothes.  Manipulative...I know...but read the above statement about my financial fuckedupness.

Okay...exercise sucks ass...time to change it up a bit...again. However, I believe you should keep changing it to keep doing it when it starts to be a chore. 

I hope everyone is having a fantastic week.  It is my "Friday".  Yippie!!!  I wish I could sleep in tomorrow...but I have 3 Dr. appointments and a 5:45 am yoga class.

Delete me if you must...

Yeah...I might lose some followers after this...and I'm fine with that.

I'm reading a lot of blogs from people who travelled to Chicago this past weekend.  I'm seeing a lot of complaints about people not talking to them or being standoffish.

Well who gives a rats ass!!!!  I made sure to speak to, hug and shake hands with everyone at least once.  After that....whatever!!!  Life is what you make it...your weekend should have been about you.  I'm sorry, but I don't feel the need to go above and beyond to speak to anyone.  If you just stand there and stare at me like I'm a science experiment...then no...I don't want to talk to you.  I'm not about to kiss your ass to be your friend.  We are all adults...this is not elementary school...grow the fuck up.

On a more positive note.  It was a great weekend.  Some of the ladies that meet were a little shy...which could be expected.  All of the women looked BEAUTIFUL!!!! 
There were ladies there who I don't follow on the blogs...and I didn't know it.  I will start to follow some...others not so much. 

I hope everyone is having a great week!!! 

What I've learned this week

This week I have worked hard on getting and staying on track with my eating.  Of course it is easier said than done.  However, I can attest to doing a great job.  I did learn something though.

Having a completely empty band does not allow you to get full on 1 to 1 1/2 cups of food.   Nope.  No matter how hard I tried...bandster portions were not enough.  I measured everything and brought enough for the day...or so I thought.  I would get hungry exactly 1 to 2 hours after eating.  The next thing you know I have eaten all of my food for the day...and the day is only half over.  Needless to say it has been a rough week.  There have been a couple of trips tot he vending machine.

Next week I will plan my foods for my empty band.

Hope everyone has a great week.

P.S.  I hate the new blogger.

I choose to live!!!

Often times I try to remember why I decided to take this journey.  Then I remember that I was on a fast track to killing myself.  Although I was morbidly obese I never had any health issues or scares.  But how long would that have lasted?  I knew that I was not going to make it if I kept eating my life away.

My kids coming into my life was the deciding factor.  I had to live for me...but more importantly I had to live for them.  I choose to live and I'm glad I made that choice.

I say all this to say...that since my band is empty I have been eating like the old me.  The me who didn't care.  The me who didn't know when to stop.  It is such a slippery slope and easy to go back to the way I was. 

I refuse to be that person again.  I refuse to give up.  I choose to live...now it's time I did just that...live.  I'm taking back my health...one bite at a time. 

Exercise...no problem...eating...national disaster. 

It isn't easy...but I will never give up...every time I fall...I will stand back up...and keep moving forward. 

I hope you do the same.

WassUp?!?!

Okay...so I've been absent.  Shit happens.

I've decided I need to get back to logging my food...because honey...it has been a sin and a shame around these here parts.  I work out 5 times a week...but it doesn't matter if you are getting crap.  So I'm back on my hustle.  I log with my/fitness/pal.  If you want to be friends my handle is: lynnd719

Let's share our food sins together.  LOL

Other than that...nothing special going on in my life.

Maybe I will post something more important next time.

Tired of excuses

I've made all types of excuses last week of why I couldn't exercise...and I didn't.  It's a shame and a sin.  Now today I'm sitting here feeling extra plump.  LOL

Well this week I will get back to my regularly scheduled program.  At leas 5 days of activities this week.  No bullshit.  I might even try to get off the sauce (sugar) again. 

Here's to a healthy week. 

It's a new day

Today is a day that you can get it right.  Everyday is a time to start fresh.  Stop beating yourself up about what happened yesterday or last night...it's over...the past can't be changed...it's the past...let it go.

Have a great week!!!

Ten Things Thursday....yeah it's still Wednesday

I love these fuck sensitivity pictures...they crack me up.  So I'm using them for my post today.

1.   put on some damn clothes cow!!

2.  Yup...I've been offending people all week.  I don't give a rat's ass about your feeligns at this point.  I'm doing me...so kiss my entire ass!!

3.  Fo' true...I can't stand a liar.  If you are going to lie to me you should just spit in my face...because you obviously don't care....back up off me folks...I don't have the time.

4.  I give zero fucks and I have zero tolerance for bullshit.  Don't make me slap your ass!!!  LOL

5.  My great grandmother says I don't have a filter.  She is right.  I will go in on your ass...because I can.  I don't care if my hautiness upsets you...suck my big toe.

6.  This shit is funny!!!  LOL

7.  Like that little person who thinks he is my boss.  I will stomp your ass...leave me alone.  I don't care that you asked me to do it twice.  I'm not fucking doing it at all.  When you understand that...then let's talk.  NOT!!!

8.  Please, please, please stop talking to me...I don't like you.

9.  My give a damn's busted...yall know I love me some country music.  LOL

10.  Keep it moving.

Okay...guess what yall.  I'm not mad at anyone in particular...I'm just mad about all the crazy shit that has been going on.  people lying to my face when I know the truth.  I hate liars...to me...they are on the same level of scum as a cho-mo (child molester). 

I have Bikram yoga tonight.  I haven't been in a week...I need it...can't you tell.  LOL.  I hope everyone is having a great week. 

Fake friends

Hello my lovlies!!!  How are you all doing?  So I got an attitude.

Let's talk about friends...or pretend friends.  Seriously, people if you call yourself my friend you will always be there for me.  Especially when this thing called life gets out of control.  Everybody is telling their business on FB...if you know it has to do with me...and your supposed to be my friend...call and say...hey girl...you alright. 

If I always have to be the one listening to your worries and drama, but yet you never have time to let me vent...because your broken nail was a damn emergency...bitch you ain't now...nor have you ever been my friend.

Pick up the phone sometime...just to say hi....don't call me with all this bullshit all the time.  Hell I got my own drama to deal with...I don't have time for your shit too.

Listen...as a matter of fact...let's not be friends!!!

RANT OVER!!!

Ten Things Thursday

This is all Laura...this is my 2nd time giving this a try...I think.

1.  This is my short week...so today is actually my Friday...I'm so freaking excited I could moonwalk right now.

2.  My job is still the bain of my existence...seriously...my spirit dies a little everyday in this place.

3.  Potty training my 2 y/o son must be punishment for something I did in a former life.  This kid is not cooperating.  He is he is so cute.

4.  This is my week to do 4 yoga classes...I'm super excited.  Bikram yoga is the bees knees.  You should give it a try.  One class and I was hooked.

5.  I live in the allergy capital of the world...Central Texas.  If my eye does not stop running soon I'm going to scream.  Like seriously...it's almost like I'm crying.  I have a trail of ashy tears running down my cheek...not sexy at all.

6.  I DON'T CARE THAT JENNIFER ANISTON IS ENGAGED!!!  Maybe that means people will start calling her a man thief...since she did take him from his other fiance.  Ugh...by the way...I'm not a fan.  I will not go see any movies...no matter how good they look if they star Jennifer Aniston or Jennifer Lopez...the tramps couldn't act their way out of a brown paper bag.

7.  I'm HONGRY...like I could eat a small village if given the chance.  However...I still have restriction in my empty band. It is amazing.  LOL 

8.  My best friend is coming to Austin in October.  I'm so excited.  It will be her first time seeing the kids in person.  She is their godmother.  If anything ever happens to myself or Charles the kids are hers.  I think she is more excited about her weekend with the kids instead of spending time with me.  But who cares.  She will be here.

9.  I think I need a new tattoo.  It has been almost a year since I felt the needle pierce my skin.  I guess I will go see my guy while I'm at B3.

10.  I'm so darn cute...I can't stand it.  LOL

Friday...how I love you...let me count the ways

I'm so excited about it being Friday.  Just knowing that I don't have to come here again for 2 days makes my heart pitter patter.

Crying for me

I woke up this morning with my grandfather on my mind.  He has been gone for 19 years...but I still remember him like it was just yesterday.  He was my bestfriend.  Today is my Uncle's birthday.  He passed away 1 year ago.  I dedicate this song to those wonderful men.

Boo Boo honey chile

Well I just want to say this...I LOVE MY BAND!!!  At the moment by band does not love me.  Apparently when my band was placed it was placed in an awkward position.  This is liked what caused my slip and dilation in May.  Well that resolved itself and I received a fill in June and another fill in July.  Well I went in today for a fill.  Guess what...my band is dilated and has slipped again.  I was upset at first.  But now I'm calm.  This will require them going in and fixing the issue.  Am I going to let them...NOPE.

As much as I love my band it's time to let it go.  This is the 2nd slip in 2 months.  I'm not one for giving second and third chances.  LOL.  I'm going to have my band removed.  Not sure when.  I meet with a different surgeon on August 23rd.  This will all take place either before or after B3.  For now I'm on liquids for 7 days.  Ha...I hate liquids. 

I say all of this to say.  I am still an advocate for the band...I will still recommend the band to others before any other surgery.  My band has helped me lose and keep off 60 lbs.  Is my journey over.  Hell no...it is just beginning.

Until next time my loves...

I have zero fucks to give

Yep...that is the title.  It ain't mine.  It comes from the fabulous chick name Franceta.  She talks about confidence in this recent vlog post.  It is nice. I love it...because It is me.  It's how I feel everyone should live their lives.

To many times we give others to much power over how we feel about ourselves.  Why?!  My philosophy is fuck 'em and feed 'em catfish.  You ain't running a damn thing in my life.  So for those who are still struggling with the power of believing in and loving yourself...check out this video.

What had happened was...

...there were still 2 cupcakes at home.  I wanted to just ignore them...but they were whispering to me...and I answered...it was the least I could do...they needed to be put out of their misery.

Now that ALL temptation is gone...we are back on track.

I wasn't going to workout last night.  But after saving those cupcakes I had to.  Thank goodness I burn 691 calories during Bikram.  It's wonderful.  This is my favorite pose


Today...no Bikram.  I'm doing a 2 mile run/walk/jog/dance off.  LOL.  Sometimes when I'm out for a run the music gets so good...I just have to stop and boogie right there in the street.  LOL.  Good thing I run at night. 

Hope everyone is having a great week.

Updates

I stayed true to my sugar detox from Monday night until Friday night.  Friday was my 10 year wedding anniversary.  My husband and I shared a delicious Godiva chocolate molten cake with ice cream...yummy.  Saturday was a no sugar day.  Sunday there were 2 yummy cupcakes that I made for my daughter's fourth birthday.  I'm back on the sugar detox today.

BTW...it works because I lost 3 pounds.

In other news...my 30 day fitness challenge is scheduled to end tomorrow.  However...I'm kicking it up a notch and making it a 60 day fitness challenge.  I'm looking forward to seeing even more changes to my body...inside and out.

Have a great week.

P.S.  Thanks for all of your comments from my last post.

Wind knocked out of me

So I just had the wind knocked out of my sails.  I was super excited about several jobs I planned on applying for within my agency.  Only to find out...because I'm already in the agency...my education would not qualify me for the position....even though it says it would right in the vacancy announcement.  Instead...I need to have the education and the time-in-grade requirements....which it doesn't say in the vacancy announcement.  My head hurts....my heart hurts and I'm ready to just give up. 

I'm not a cryer...only when I'm really upset...or it's a Hallmark Hall of Fame movie.  But right now I'm fighting to keep the tears from falling down my face. The people at Ooo Pee Mmm can't help me...the people at Dee Ooo Jay are giving me the run around....and the people I work with never have answers.  It seems I'm doomed to sit in this office as a secretary for the next 15 years.  Yippie for me.

Is this enough reason to go back on sugar?  I think so!!!

One day clean of sugar

I'm one day clean from the junk sugar.  I have to say...it went better than expected.  Big thank you to Angela and Vanessa.  You ladies rock.

Just wanted to share that quicky. 

SMOOCHES

I need a twelve step program for sugar

My sugar detox started yesterday...it was a total bust!!!!  If it had sugar...I wanted it.  There may have been a situation with a kitkat, a almond Hershey and some sandwich cookies...but I don't remember...I was in sugar heaven.  Hell I would have sucked on a sugar cube if I had one.  Oh that reminds me of sucking on sugar canes and a kid...good times.

Anyway...the minute I said I would quit...the sugar monster showed up.  I broke weak.  But today is a new day.  So far...no sugar.  I had breakfast of cereal (raisin bran crunch), lunch of chicken thighs small helping of mashed potatoes....no cravings yet.  I'm trying...good gosh I'm trying.

In other news...I haven't exercised since my actual birthday...what the what...yup..crazy.  I will go back to yoga on Thursday.  I can only get there 4 days a week...which are usually the 2 days Charles is off work and the 2 days he has to go to work late.  But I love those 4 days.  So I'm thinking I'm going to do a C25K program.  I run...but not nearly as long as I would like.  Why not try something different.  Well different for me.  I'm actually hoping to go back to Zumba.  Gosh I miss that stuff.

Dinner tonight...I have no damn clue.  But there will be a workout tonight.  Bike riding or running...but sweat will be involved. 
Have an awesome day...and remember...everyday is a new day to get it right.

New Year and New Goals

My new year has started and I'm so excited about the possibilities!!!  I have several goals in place for my new year.  I will share them eventually...but right now I'm just enjoying the newness of the year.

On another note...I'm super excited the birthday cake is gone.  I'm a sucker for some cake.  Okay...I'm a sucker for cake, ice cream, cookies, candy...anything with sugar in it and I'm a goner.  In an effort to get the sugar out of my system I'm quitting cold turkey.  Yup...now don't get it twisted...there will be sugar in my life...in the form of fruits and those attached to my oatmeal.  Fluffy talked about it in this post on her blog.  Other than that none of the crap that I love.  I'm going to try to make it an entire week.  Have mercy.  I know I can do it...but it's going to be hard.

I hope everyone has a fantastic week!!!

Let's talk about NSV's

Today is a great day.  It is one day before my birthday and I have 2 NSV's to report.  First...I am wearing the cutest button down shirt today.  It's kinda peachy.  I love this shirt. I love it the first time I saw it.  So I immediately purchased it for MY HUSBAND.  That's right...I'm wearing Charles shirt today.  This is a HUGE NSV.  Charles is 6' tall and weight about 175-185 any given day of the week.  He has stayed in that range for the 12 years we have been together.  But today...I'm wearing his shirt.  Holy hell...it's a great day.  I've been trying on his shirts for months now...hoping they would fit.  They never did.  But last night...it fit. I was hoping he wouldn't notice that I was borrowing his shirt.  But when he was ironing my clothes he came in and asked why he was ironing his shirt.  I jumped up in the bed and started screaming...it finally fits me...it finally fits me!!!  LOL

Second NSV...I have this same shirt tucked into my pants.  Yup...my shirt is tucked in.  I have not worn my shirts tucked in since I gained weight.  I'm starting to do it more often.  But I have the skinny husband's shirt tucked into my pants.  I'm feeling real good right now.  LOL

This is important...because that flat chested whore I call a scale is evil.  So I just proved that her funky calculations are crap...and I'm doing what needs to be done to get where I'm trying to go.  What NSV's have you had recently?

I hope everyone is having a great week.  Happy Wednesday!!

Tracking

I suck at tracking my food.  This is something I really want to do...and do well..but I suck at it.  I cook pretty much every meal we eat at home.  I just don't have time to measure each ingredient to determine what the nutritional value will be.  I prefer to cook over prepackaged food.  I'm cooking for 6 people.  That would make the process even longer.  I want to cook and be done.  Because I have to rush out of the house to make it to Bikram by 7 pm. 

So what is a girl to do?  So frustrating because I need to eliminate some of these carbs from my life.  But the majority of the time I'm not sure how many I'm eating a day. I'll try it again next week.

By the way...all of you people who prepare your food in advance for the week...my hats are off to you.  I can't do it.  I tried...and it was a waste.  I don't eat leftovers...and even though I hadn't ate the food...it felt like leftovers to me.  So it was never eaten.  I'm to cheap to waste food so that hasn't happened again.  LOL

Users and exercise.

So this might bite some people on the ass and piss them off...which could result in a mass unfollowing of my blog...but I really don't care.

STOP BEING USERS!!!!  Yes....those people w ho use the blogs for support and inspiration to reach their weight loss goals..then disappear once they have made it.  Not lending support to the others that are still trying to make it there.  Just use them up and then walk away.  Or the ones of you who will only comment on a blog if they have commented on yours.  Grow up and stop being childish.  This is not the elementary school playground people.

You are selfish.  If you don't plan on supporting others the way they supported you when you needed it...you are an inconsiderate, selfish asshole!!!!!!  I wish you would just go fuck yourself in the butt with no vaseline!!!!

I hate a few things in life...liars and users are at the top of my list.

Okay...I just needed to get that off my chest.

In other news....my weight is finally going back down after the unfill.  I'm excited to see the scale move when I step on it each week.  It makes my heart flutter.  LOL

I really do love a good workout.  I have committed myself to 5 days a week of Bikram Yoga and 3 days of running.  I still take my 2 days of rest...more if I just don't want to do it.  The kickball tryout was cancelled due to excessive ran.  Oh...I'm cancelling my gym membership.  It is through my health insurance.  I had enjoyed working out at 24 hour fitness, but they are leaving the network.  Anytime Fitness is coming into the network...but I don't like any of their locations.  So I'm not going to pay for something I'm not using.  I'm entirely to cheap for that.

My food choices have been pretty good.  However, there are some days that don't look so great. LOL.  I'm going to celebrate my birthday with dinner at Ruth Chris Steakhouse.  I love that place.   Yummy.

I hope everyone has enjoyed their week.  If I don't talk to you before tomorrow...Have an awesome weekend!!!

Fill and challenge update

Challenges are hard.  LOL.  Not really. I just happened to take a week off work and didn't want to do anything.  However, I have kept up with my challenge.  Running, Bikram yoga, cardio.  Tomorrow I'm going to try out for a kickball team.  Yup...the same kickball of our youths.  I'm looking forward to it.  Not looking forward to their early morning weekend games though.  LOL  I just need to keep mixing it up or I will stop working out. 

I went in for a fill on Thursday (7/5).  It was my second fill since the slip.  Before the fill that resulted in a slip I was at 7.7 and happy and doing well there for 4 months.  I'm at 7.5 currently.  I had to remind myself to chew, chew, chew...because that had gone out the window since the unfill.  LOL...needless to say to large a bite and not chewing well enough reminded me quickly.

Nothing else exciting in my life.  How about you?

It's my Birth Month!!

If you didn't know...I LOVE MY BIRTHDAY!!!!  I celebrate the entire month.  Nothing big...just enjoying my life and preparing for my "new year".  This year I'm celebrating my birth month with a 31 day fitness challenge.  I tried to compete a 30 day challenge in June but I was sick for almost 2 weeks.  Well I'm doing it again.  Day 1 was 90 minutes of open eyed meditation in a room with a temperature of 105 degrees with 40% humidity.  I loved ever minute of it.  My body was feeling it today...I can't wait to go back tomorrow.  Day 2 was a 2 mile run.  My breathing has improved a great deal since I started the yoga.

I hope everyone has a great week.

It's the weekend

Remember your health goals even on the weekend.  This is usually the time of the week that all of my hard work goes out of the window.  I'm going to do my best to remember my ultimate goal.  That means...I'm going to stay away from the bread...the ice cream...the cupcakes...etc.

I'm going to spend an active weekend with my family.  I think I'm going to see how my kids like climbing 101 stairs.  This should be interesting.  I haven't been to the trail since getting healthier.  I'm excited now.

I love a good challenge

So I started a weight loss challenge with some ladies at work.  It is so much fun.  Apparently, I inspire them.  Who would have thunk it?!?  Well today was the second weigh in.  One of the participants just left me office on a natural high.  She lost 1.6 lbs.  Ya'll it just made me smile so much to see that look on her face. 

What I love even more is that I have convinced these ladies to start moving more.  Each of the 6 participants worked out at least 3 times last week.  They have all commented on how much better they are feeling already. 

Keep challenging yourselves ladies.  I know I will. 

Have a great Wednesday!!!!

Feeling better and Moving on

Thanks for all of your comments.  I'm feeling much better.  I appreciate all of your well wishes.

I'm moving on with my health and fitness goals.  They could change at any given time.  Everyday is different.  The only thing that won't change is I will keep fighting the good fight to reach my goals. 

Those goals have nothing to do with a number on the scale or the number inside of my clothes.  They have to do with doing things I couldn't do before.  Making changes that will make my life easier...allowing my kids to live their lives with me by their sides.

I'm over the numbers people.  I'm more concerned with the living.

In saying that...my post will be few and far between...unless I get a bug up my ass and feel the need to post about it.  I will continue to follow each of you and read an comment as I see fit.

Stay healthy...and keep moving!!!

Sick

Being sick sucks.  I have a cold/virus or something like that.  I feel like I'm living at death's door.  I'm at work though. Why?  Because I don't have a backup to input payroll.  Even though I have the largest department to input payroll for...I don't have a back up.  But people who do payroll for 3 damn people have a backup.  Can you tell I'm not happy? 

Oh well.  I hope everyone is having an awesome week!!

Ten Things Thursday

The beautiful Laura Belle came up with this little ditty.  I'm not linking her name because yall know who she is.

1.  I'm fucking sleepy.  I know this is a recurring thing with me..but damn...I just want to sleep...like I want to wake up and not feel like I'm going to kill myself on the drive to work.  Yes, I sleep drive. I'm pretty sure it is worse than drunk driving and texting.  It is so sad.  Thankful that God protects babies and fools...we all know I"m no baby. Lack of sleep has been connected to obesity.  Well damn I'm a walking poster board.

2.  My eating SUCKS like a hooker at the rodeo.  I know it is because I'm not planning my meals...but I'm fucking tired...see number one. I get up for work at 5 am.  I'm out the door by 5:45.  I get home at 4:45 pm.  I spend time playing with my kids...then I jump in the car to go do some form of exercise.  Depending on the day...I don't get home to after 9 pm.  I don't go to bed until 11:30 or midnight. Just to do it all over again. 

3.  I feel guilty about working out...because I feel like I'm not spending enough time with my kids.  My 3 and 2 year old always ask me when I'm getting ready..."you going to workout Mama?"  Then they beg to come with me.  Of course they don't get to go.  I think everyone is a potential pedophile so they are NOT going to childcare at the gym...just my thing.  Plus where I go to exercise usually is somewhere without child care or it is to late for that.  I just don't want them to feel like Mama doesn't love them...but I have to workout...I have to.

4. My mother is pissed at me...so she hasn't spoke to me since Tuesday.  Yup...we live in the same house.  I won't apologize...not my thing.  Even though she is not speaking to me...I keep talking to her.  It is making her even madder..which makes me laugh.  Yes...I'm evil.

5.  I miss being active in church.  Between exercising, being tired and trying to spend time with my kids...I'm only going to church on Sunday and Wednesday and not being an active member.  That is really bothering me spiritually.  I will be in constant prayer about this.

6.  My job is draining the life out of me.  This place has stolen my smile.

7.  My 2 year old refuses to use the damn potty.  Seriously...dude is turning 3 in September.  I can not deal with this drama.  I need him to piss in the toilet.  I'm so over diapers.  Sure I will still have one in diapers..but he is only 1.  This is unacceptable.

8.  My daughter decided to scream in the store this weekend.  Her exact words were, "Mama, my vagina itches."  Her little brother responded with, "My penis itches too."  If I were lighter I'm sure I would have turned 15 shades of red.  It was funny as hell.  Because they were so serious.  People were looking at me like I was crazy.  My daughter is convinced that an itchy vagina is the way to say she needs to go to the bathroom.  I don't know where she gets this shit.

9.  My husband is an idiot...that is all!!!

10.  Did I mention how sleepy I am.  I want to crawl under my desk and lay my head in the chair and take a quick 15 minute nap.  I'm pretty sure before 10 my head and my desk will meet.  I hope it doesn't hurt.

Why do you make me be mean to you?

Many people think I'm this sweet girl.  For the most part that is true...but I'm a real mean girl the majority of the time.  I don't give second chances. You get one time to jump on my bad side...I'm just done with you.  I will forgive you...but I will cut off all communication and the "friendship" or whatever it is was will be over.

When it comes to strangers...I try to be kinder.  However, there are times when I just need them to know...I am not to be effed with today. 

Last night was a perfect example.  I went to the pool at the gym...to practice what I learned last week.   To work on my kick and to allow myself to become more comfortable with the water.  Well about 20 minutes in a cute little couple shows up.  Young kids...but fit and ready to do some laps.  The pool had other people in other lap lanes swimming laps.  I'm just staying in my small section "swimming" back and forth...not even very far.  Well the little snot of a boyfriend swims down to my end.  He says...out of the blue...no hello...no nothing.  "It's not good to wear goggles when  you are learning to swim."  I looked around to see who he was talking to.  That fool was talking to me.  So I politely say..."Are you planning on giving me swim lessons this evening?"  To which he replied, "I was just trying to be helpful."  I replied, "Unless you plan on being my swim instructor, thank you for your advice...but keep it to yourself."  Yup I was in a mood.

So I continue to do my thing.  He and his little girlfriend are swimming back and forth.  Well I guess I'm in their way.  The little fucker proceeds to ask me if I can move to another area, since I don't really know how to swim and they are trying to race/practice (not sure which).  After I looked at him like he had 3 heads.  I had to go in on him.  I didn't raise my voice or even use profanity (which is rare for me, because I so enjoy profanity).  I told him that he was rude and should learn to respect his elders.  I also told him that it was even ruder to ask someone to get out of the pool because they couldn't swim at the same level as him.  Then I proceeded to tell him that if he didn't get away from me ASAP we were going to have some serious issues..

I try to be kind to people...but I will hurt your feelings if you say the wrong thing to me.  Needless to say...him and his little girlfriend left the pool area.  I emailed a complaint to the manager last night.

Hey, Fat Girl

Stacy over at Time to get Real (follow her...she rocks) posted this link.  I'm posting it too.

I cried...because it was so on point. 

Thanks for sharing Stacy.

Hey, Fat Girl

First swim lesson

Tonight was my first swim lesson...and it was AWESOME!!!  I love every minute of being in the water.  I wasn't the least bit afraid.  My friend De-De the president of the Austin chapter of Sisters Tri-ing helped me out a great deal.  She taught me how to breath under water.  How to turn my head and get air and go back in and breath. 

I'm so excited.  She taught me a few other things but I'm sleepy and I can't remember.

Tomorrow I'm going to buy a paddle board so that I can continue to practice on my own.  This is going to be a great summer!!!

I wish you all a happy, fun filled weekend!!!

Talking about my band issues

I recently eluded to having some issues with my band.  However, I didn't go into detail informing you of what those issues were.  The reason is I didn't want to talk about.  So many of those in the blogosphere have become "unhappy" with their band. This has resulted in a lot of people blaming the band for their lack of weight loss success on jumping on the revision wagon...I guess some feel that's what to do when you stop losing...

...no...what you do is take a good long hard look at yourself and face the truth.  You are eating crap, you aren't moving...you are just not working your band.  Ugh...let me get off my soap box.

On May 1, 2012 I went in for a fill.  I had not had a fill since November 16th.  My 1 year bandiversary.  It was either get a fill or start biting people...because I was hungry.  It was an extremely small fill .3.  It put me at 8 cc.  I was excited.  Fast forward 3 days later...I could barely swallow my own damn spit.  Umm...something was rotten in Denmark.  However, this happened on Friday night.  So I sucked it up and wait until Monday.  I called first thing that morning.  I got in. X-rays showed and slipped band with dilation.  What the what?!?!?  Needless to say I was pissed.  I mean seriously...My band was fine a week ago...now it's slipped and dilated.  BS!!!

So I had to have an unfill...not a complete unfill...just enough to allow my band to heal and work itself back into place.  I did this.  I struggled the first 7 days on full liquids.  It was REALLY  hard for me.  I made it to mushies/soft food and I was happier than sissy with a bag full of ding-a-lings. 

I made it through the month.  I went back in today.  My band has worked itself back into place and things are fine.  I received a fill.  Thank you sweet baby ray...because I was eating anything that wasn't plywood.  It was bad.  I only gained 2 lbs over the month...I will take it. 

Now let me get real.  I contacted another bariatric office to prepare myself for a revision.  Yup...I don't do well with complications.  So let's get prepared just in case this band doesn't work out.  Not because I want a revision because that is what the cool kids are doing.  My plan was to get the revision if my band decided not to cooperate. 

I'm still an advocate of the band...complication and all.  I will still recommend the band to those who want WLS.  I will continue to work my band.  However, I do have other options...and if it boils down to it I will have a revision.  Mama still has tons of weight to lose.

Chop Chop!!

On my journey to a healthier me I had to do something about my hair.  As I mentioned before I was going to grow out my relaxer into my natural hair.  Well...that would have taken to damn long.  And I have no dang patience.  So I chopped off all my beautiful hair today. 

NSV

I love finding clothes in my house. It's always fun.  I tried on a pair of shorts yesterday that I haven't worn since August of 2007.  They were skin tight and barely breathable then.  Yesterday...they fit great...actually they were loose.  SCORE!!!

I found several items in my chiffarobe that I didn't even know I had saved.  Well they are either fitting or to big.  I love it when a plan comes together.  LOL

Nothing exciting my life.  I realize I CAN'T run on the treadmill.  Each time I've tried...I fall...off the damn treadmill.  So I'm an outside runner.  With the weather changing this is going to present a challenge.  Even if I run at night (which I do), it's hot as hades in Texas.  We shall see what happens.

I start my swim lessons this weekend.  I'm so excited.  I'm going to do 3 lessons solo...so that I'm no longer afraid of the water...then my daughter is going to join me.  I want to get my fear of the water out of the way before she starts.  If Mama can do it then she can do it. 

Does anyone take Spin classes?  Okay...let me rephrase this.  Does anyone with a big butt take Spin classes?  I just need to make sure my bottom can make it on one of those seats.  Or can I go buy a big girl seat just for the occasion?

Remember the date...

...it's the official start of my natural hair journey.  I've had the individual braids in my hair for 1 month exactly.  It was a fun ride...but they had to go.  So the braids our out.  I have exactly 2 weeks until I get the kinky twists hairstyle.  So that is 2 weeks for me to get reacquainted with my hair.  I have purchases some products that will help me over the next 2 weeks.  I'm also watching tons of videos and reading great inspirational stories.  So if anyone has some suggestions or know of some information sites and videos...please let me know.

My weight loss journey.  I'm starting carb and sugar detox AGAIN!!!  Yup...because of the issues I'm having with my band (that I have not discussed...so you didn't miss anything).  I used certain foods (bread and ice cream) to help me cope.  Well that ends now.  I have goals to meet. I can't meet them feeling sorry for myself.  I'm a fighter if ever there was one.  I will make it to my birthday goal...and my Vegas vacation (October) goal. 

I hope everyone has a wonderful Memorial day weekend.  Remember the men and women who have given their lives so that we can live in the land of the free and the home of the brave!!!

Out of control eating

Seriously...I have to get away from the bread and bread like products.  Since my unfill...I can eat a small cow.  Like I have the exact amount in my band right now that I had at surgery!!! 

I have been killing it on the food...it is so said.  It just goes to show that I'm still learning.  I will never be perfect...and food and I will always have a unique relationship. 

So I went to Bikram Yoga on Saturday...105 degree room, 26 poses, 90 minutes.  It was hotter than Satan's crotch in that damn place...and funky!! But I managed to stay in the room and do most of the poses.  Here is the crazy part....I went back yesterday for 90 more minutes of HELL...and I will go for the next 3 days.  I'm not saying I'm going to become addicted.  But I'm always willing to step out of my comfort zone.

My knee has been bothering me...I think I jerked it out during Body Pump.  To much weight.  I might have to eliminate Body Pump from my workout because I need to run....WTF...yup...I said I need to run.

Because my knee has been bothering me I have not run this week.  I'm taking the week off (at least I think I am...).  So yoga it is.  I will find some other cardio and weight training options soon. 

I will start my swim lessons in June.  I can't wait. I hope to become so go that I can swim laps...that would be awesome

Enjoy your hump day!!

Fear

Yes...it's coming back up.  Unlike many...I'm not afraid of losing the weight and getting to goal (though it is taking longer than I would like).  I'm afraid of my ability to succeed in a professional setting.  Sure, I'm qualified...but how will I ever know if I don't submit the resume.  I guess getting so many green bills makes me afraid to try again.  It is eating me up inside.  What if I do/say the wrong thing.  Ugh.  I really want this job.  However, I will feel like an utter failure if I don't even BQ.  So frustrating!!  Well back to work on my resume I go.  I will apply.  I will BQ...and this job will be mine.  If God says the same!!

BTW...there is no need to comment on this post.  I just needed to get it out.  Charles would only be his encouraging self...I just wanted to vent.  PLEASE DO NOT RESPOND!!!  Thanks!!

RIP to the Queen of Disco - Donna Summers

I'm a huge fan of disco.  I was saddened to learn that Ms. Summers had lost her battle with cancer.  In tribute...here is one of my favorite songs.  I listen to it every night as my warm up before my run.

This One's for the Girls and Dream Big

Listen to the lyrics of the song...it's very uplifting.  Remember:  YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL THE WAY YOU ARE!!!

Dream Big ladies....hear the lyrics...stop letting others determine your worth!!!

Blogging, FB and stuff

This has been on my mind for awhile...I think it is time I write a blog about it. 

This blog is my journey for a healthier me...it is also the place where I vent...and say what's on my mind.  This is the ONLY place that I discuss my weight loss and all of my other issues associated with my lap band.  I do not discuss my journey on FB.  I do post when I'm working out...but that is just so that I stay accountable to my cousins.  Besides the people who live in my house only 2 of my family members know about my surgery.  Only 3 of my 4 closest friends know about my surgery.  I don't share this with everyone.  I'm not ashamed...but it just ain't their business.

With that being said...after BooBS last year I become FB friends with many of those who attended.  In doing so I also become FB friends with many other bloggers.  That is about to change!! 

I will be making some adjustments to my FB friends list.  This is not to say that I do not love each of you.  However, this is something I need to do to keep balance in my life.  This blog is my safe place.  It is the place I can go and say any and everything.  I don't want to worry about someone bringing that into my world of social media.  I hope that you are not offended by this...but it is what it is. 

Other stuff...working out is getting fun again.  Who the heck knew that could happen?  Monday night I attended a Zumba class (the first in ages) with my Sisters Tri-ing group.  It was a blast.  The instructor didn't really excite me but it was nice to get it in with the ladies.  I refer to them as my "real" athletic friends...because I am not.  These women are competing in triathlons and duathlons, marathons and iron woman races.  I love these chicks.  They inspire me to be better.  This Saturday I will work our FUNraiser.  I would actually run, but I'm only staying for a bit, because I'm taking my first Bikram (hot) Yoga class later in the morning.  I'm looking forward to the yoga.  I actually purchased a groupon for 10 classes.  The class on Saturday I'm taking with my running group Black Girls Run.  Look at me being social.  LOL

Well that is all for now.

Healthy living is so much fun

Living a healthy lifestyle is so much fun.  Everything is easier.  This is NOT about the number on the scale or the size of my clothes.  This is about getting out and living life to the fullest.  This is about having more energy to dedicate to my children.  This is about not being afraid to try new things...or go back to doing the things you once did before you let being unhealthy overtake your life.

I'm loving this healthy life...from the top of my head to the soles of my feet.

Do you naturally

Well that is what I'm going to do.  I have decided that since I'm working out 5 times a week, I'm going to let go of the creamy hair crack and get back to my roots.

I'm sure this is going to be a long transition as I'm not sure I want to do the BC (big chop).  I have a consultation on Saturday with a natural hairstylist who specializes in healthy natural hair.  I'm looking forward to what this latest adventure has to offer.

I've hit an all time low on the scale.  Not a big deal...however, I'm really excited about the way my clothes are fitting these days.  That is a HUGE deal.

I hope everyone has an amazing weekend.

Never give up

No matter what obstacle you are facing...never give up.  You can do anything...just put one foot in front of the other.
http://news.uk.msn.com/articles.aspx?cp-documentid=161322894

Bionic woman completes marathon

Fill and fitness

WOW...I can actually feel my fill.  That is a first for me.  I mean I literally had to do liquids today after a stuck episode with a Excedrin migraine and two bites of food.  User error.  The thing is I have never had to chew, chew, chew or take sips.  Because I never "felt" anything.  Well darling I'm here to tell you I'm feeling it.  So no more gulping water for me.  One of my favorite activities.  I will take my time.  Oh yeah I have a PSA.  NEVER GET A FILL THE SAME DAY YOUR CYCLE STARTS!!!  Holy hell.  I have TOM tights and a new fill level.  Ha' mercy!!!

As you all know I've been running.  Tonight I had a revelation.  I'm lazy.  I run the same route everyday...and I stop in walk in the same spots each time.  Not because I'm tired or my lungs need to rest...but because I'm lazy.  I can run longer, I can run further and I just stop.  I guess I was so used to taking those breaks at certain points that I never stopped to reevaluation the situation. 

Tomorrow I will push myself harder...further...I will meet my goals.

Newsflash...I AM GOING TO TRAIN FOR A HALF-MARATHON.  Yup...that is what I said.  If the good Lord is will and the creek don't rise I'm going to run the princess half next year.  We shall see. 

Oh yeah...my love for milk (maybe dairy) must end.  It looks like I am becoming lactose intolerant.  This is a sad, sad moment in time.  However, I'm going to try chocolate soy milk.  I want to start drinking chocolate milk after my workouts...so soy it will be.

Well that is all for now....until next time.

I'm not getting my e-mails...fill day

I HATE this new blogger format.  I don't know what happened. but my comments are no longer coming to me via email...very irritating.  So I'm not ignoring you...I'm just trying to figure this crap out.

So today was fill day.  I have not had a fill since November.  I cancelled every appointment until today.  I have been HONGRY!!  Like eat a small goal hongry.  So I decided it was fill time.  I received .3 cc's in my band which puts me a whopping 8 cc's in my 10 cc band.  I hope this keeps my weight going down.

Ummm...yeah that is all.  I need to go to bed. 

Looking good and feeling fine

Good Monday morning!!!

This is the start of a new week.  That means letting go of the mistakes or disappointments from last week and moving on to better things.

I for one am moving on to exercise.  Last week there was none.  Seriously...NONE!!  I was busy making moves.  I don't regret my decision not to exercise.  This week I will make it happen at least 5 days. 

My focus right now is on my fitness.  Yes, food is very important...however, for me...fitness is of the utmost importance.  I'm considering taking a bikram yoga class twice a week.  I just need to find a studio that will best fit my needs.  This will be my first foray into yoga...but I look forward to the challenge and hopefully the stress relief.  I will also keep taking my body pump class.  I'm only taking this once a week usually and twice every other week.  It's a great class.  My major form of exercise is my running.  Monday through Friday my feet will hit the pavement.

I promise to do better at blogging.  I hope everyone has a fantabulous week!!!

Just when I thought I was out...

Friday night I went to my stiletto fitness class (pictures to come).  It was a blast.  However, I think I may have dropped it a little too low in my 6 inch heels, because I screwed up my knee.  My left knee is out of commission.  Nothing serious, but I have to give it a rest.  Which sucks, because I was in my running groove.  However, I would rather take a break than risk something more serious happening.

So no running...no body pump...just plain ole walking.  So Friday morning after my glorious run I want to get some errands completed.  Well I had my fitbit attached (or so I thought).  I dropped it in my driveway.  I didn't realize this until I returned home.  I had already ran it over by then. It was a goner.  I immediately logged on and ordered another and paid for overnight shipping. It was at my house when I arrived home yesterday.  So happy to have it back.  OMG...did you see the new Nike Fuel band?  I'm such a sucker for gadgets.  I swear they make this stuff just for me...because you know I want it.

Last night I entered my own personal hell on earth...I tried on bathing suits.  Keep in mind...I have not worn a bathing suit since I was 12.  I remember it vividly because my aunt was graduating from college and I needed cute bathing suits for her pool party.  Ugh!!!  Needless to say I was traumatized last night.  Each actually looked cute on me...well according to my mom and some random stranger.  I put them in the cart and even made it to the check out line.  But that was as far as they went.  I decided against them.  So I get to do this torture again this weekend.  Fun times  NOT!!!!

In other news...I finally remember to pack a Monday bag.  A Monday bag is a great idea.  I got this information from non other than LBG.  Check out her post here.  My Monday bag contained 2 containers of 2.5 oz filets of Tilapia, 2 containers of 3 oz. of chicken breast, 2 containers of broccoli, 2 containers of qunoia "fried rice", and some other stuff I can't remember right now.  I think it is an excellent idea.  If you are looking for ways to make it through the week.  I suggest getting a Monday bag.

I hope every has a great week!!!

It's my Friday

This is my short week.  Thank goodness...because I'm ready for the weekend!!

Last night's run was 2.05 miles.  Not bad.  Not great on time...but I finished.  Tonight is a run night as well.  I have no other plans.  Cook dinner, clean the bathroom, put kids to bed and then run...all by 8 pm.  I think I'm going to do a morning run tomorrow...just to get it out of the way.  Plus tomorrow night is my Sexy Stiletto fitness class. I can't wait.  I have the perfect shoes.  I promise there will be pictures. 

My triceps are still on fire following 2 days of body pump.  Seriously...stop the madness...it's like they are screaming...burn baby burn!!

This weekend my mom and I along with my 3 brats are going to drive to Houston and go to the aquarium.  I'm looking forward to it.  Plus I get to go to one of my favorite stores...Ash.ley.Ste.war.t!!!  Yippie.

Tuesday

BP was torture yesterday.  It could be the fact that my arms were still shaking from the Monday night class.  Note to self: never go to body pump 2 days in a row.

After I made it through that pain I went home and snuggled with my kids before they went to bed.  The plan was to run immediately after putting the kids to sleep...but I was HONGRY!!!  So instead I sat down and had some dinner.  This resulted in NO RUN for Tuesday.  I'm not bummed out about it...because I just got to lay around with Charles and watch a little t.v.

I will make up for my Tuesday run on Friday.  I will run early Friday morning and again that night. 

I'm still saying away from the scale.  I take it out everyday...but I just stare at it.  Yes...I'm strange...so what!

You must be crazy...

Yes I'm talking to you...the people who love exercise.  Because no matter how much or how often I do it...I would rather be sleep.  I'm just saying. 

I got in a great workout last night at BP...my arms were shaking after.  When I finally made it home (bad grocery store experience) I went for my run.  2 miles.  I didn't love it...but I did it.  I was totally pissed when I ran into a spider web.  Gross!!

Tonight will be a repeat of BP and running.  Yippie...not!! 

I'm just a little irritable...I didn't sleep well last night.  Because if I'm honest...I felt great after both my workouts...and I can't wait to do it again.  I don't love exercise....never will...I do love the feeling of power and success I get after I complete my goals.  So here is to meeting goals.

Smooches!!!

Let the games begin!!!

Okay...I really need to read another book so I can get the Hunger Games out of my head.  As you know last week I was a running fool (gotta love that movie).  I ran a total of 4 times last week.  I was scheduled to run 5 times, but it didn't happen.  However, this is much better than the week before when I didn't run at all.

This week I have a goal of 5 again.  I also have 2 BP (body pump) classes and a sexy stiletto dance class.  So that is my workout schedule for the week.  Going to make sure that the food is whole and nutritious (well except for that slice of german chocolate cake with cream cheese icing) I plan on having with dinner tomorrow.  Other that that...whole and healthy.  I also need to work on getting all of my watter in on the days when I'm not at work.  Weekends are rough with water and food.  I'm busy...who has time to eat right. 

Oh well...May the odds eva be in your favor this week!!!

I was RUNNING!!

If you didn't know...I'm a HUGE Forrest Gump fan.  So when I talk about running...I always think o that movie.

Monday 3k...Tuesday 3K+ (1.95 miles)...Wednesday Hunger Games (no run)...Thursday 3K+ (2.1 miles).  Tonight will be a run...unfortunately, there will need to be one tomorrow as well.  I plan on getting up early on Saturday and getting it out of the way. 

I haven't done any other exercise this week.  I missed both of my BP classes.  I will be back next week though. 

Eating has been decent...not spectacular.  This weekend I plan on meal planning for the upcoming week and getting my breakfast and lunches ready to leave the house on Monday morning.

Next week is my short week...so I have Friday off.  I plan on surprising my mom and the kids with a trip to Houston so we can go to the aquarium.  My mom has never been to the aquarium so this should be fun.

No real plans for the weekend.  I really need to organize my house.  Which might require a trip to my favorite store (The Container Store).  I LOVE that place.  I can spend hours in there and hundreds of dollars.  Conveniently located directly across from the container store is Nordstrom's Rack...they always have shoes to fit my large feet.  Although I'm no longer a size 11...it's even harder to find a size 10 1/2.  But, I am guaranteed to find some I like there.  I can't wait.

Well everyone one have a happy, productive, and healthy weekend.

Carbs are so tasty

On Saturday I decided that some adjustments needed to be made.  I have been having a serious love affair with carbs.  I'm talking about leaving the husband and running away together affair.  Well that just isn't going to cut it if I plan on meeting my July goal.

So I promised myself some tough love for the first 25 days of April (I'm on vacation the last 5 days of the month...no promises there.)  This tough love will require me to run (yes I said run) 18 out of 25 days.  Crazy right.  This running is in addition to whatever other workout I have planned for the day.  I'm up for the challenge.  I have to put all this sexy in a bathing suit while on vacation...I will run like my name is Forrest Gump.  Oh yeah...I won't weigh myself again until April 25th.  I weighed in on Sunday.  I'm not a scale whore so this won't kill me.  I usually weigh in on Sunday & Wednesday.

Not only will I run, but I'm going to up my daily protein intake...and I'm phasing out the carbs.  I have a fill scheduled for May 1st.  I'm looking forward to getting a little more restriction.

So today was a good day overall.  Plenty of protein.  My breakfast was a sausage...yummy.  However, I did go out to celebrate the 50th birthday of a great friend.  There was one drink involved and some cake.  Yup...I ate it...I'm not ashamed, because it was the only "junk" food I had all day.

Tonight's 3K was 30 minutes and 30 seconds.  My goal is to improve that this week...and move forward next week.

This is dedicated to you, you and you!!!

10 Things Thursday

This is my first 10 things Thursday...it's about time.  Thanks Laura Belle!!

1.  I'm love my smile.  The thing is...I miss my smile.  I remember a time in my life when I smiled constantly.  Now...I barely smile.  It breaks my heart.  I think it hurts my husband as well.  I was going through some things the other day and I found a card that he gave me attached to some flowers 12 years ago.  It said "Keep smiling...it makes my world complete."  Ugh...his world must truly be fractured now...because the smile is so rare...it's like a total solar eclipse.

2.  I'm thinking of going back to school (even before I start law school next year).  I'm a professional student.  I know it.  When I win the lottery after I take care of my Kittens...I'm going to keep going to school.  I love it.  Learning new things always makes me feel alive.  I would like to get a degree in Criminology and eventually go work for the F to the B to the I...can't work for the big C to the I to the A because I have to many tattoos....bummer.

3.  I really want to pursue my love for photography more.  I want to spend hours going around taking random pictures of people and things.  I love pictures of people...just naturally living and loving life.  I want to tell a story with my pictures.  I want to feel the life through the pictures.  Unfortunately, I have 3 kids...and my favorite babysitter just started spring soccer...which goes into summer soccer.  Oh well.  I just have to admire the beauty without capturing it.

4.  If I do get to pursue my love for photography the way that I really want.  I'm going to purchase a printer for the house that I can dedicate to printing my photos.  Because no matter where I send them to be printed.  They take liberties to adjusting the colors to meet their own desires.  That doesn't always fit my photos.  For instance...a picture of my daughter was altered so much that she ended up with strawberry blond hair....ummm....NO...totally pissed me off.

5.  I'm grateful to God daily to be employed.  However, at the same time I feel it is my current employment situation that has stolen my smile.  I'm trusting and believing that God will order my steps and help me get where I can reclaim my joy.

6.  In 28 days I will be spending 4 amazing days with some good friends of mine.  I can't wait!!! 

7.  I love my band!!  Some days I'm disappointed that I haven't lost the amount of weight I thought I would have by this time.  But guess what...it's not my band that keeps me from losing the poundage.  It's me!!  I still love my band.  I know I will get there.  Slow and steady wins the race.  So for all my wonderful bandsters who have lost so much weight in short spurts of time.  Good for you!!!!  But for me and Dynamite (my band) we are taking the scenic route.  LOL

8.  I have no shirts that fit.  I put them on...and then they slide down my shoulder.  Hilarious!!  Last night I showed my husband that I only have 3 pair of pants for work.  THREE...and no damn shirts!!  Like seriously dude...I know we are on a po' persons budget...but I need some damn clothes.  It will not be a pretty picture if something falls down at work.  I work in a damn prison for goodness sake.  But he wasn't feeling my dilemma.  Ugh...I don't like him right now.

9.  My kids are under the impression that I should take them to the damn park DAILY!!  Ummm....negative.  The park is not up the street.  It's 10 miles away.  Gas is $3.74....we ain't going to the damn park....suck it up and go play in traffic.  Okay...I don't tell them that...but we are still not going to the park.

10.  Working out is still not a favorite activity for me.  I'm doing it...sometime I love it...most times I want to stab myself in the eye with a rusty butter knife and eat a pint of ben and jerrys phish food.

What had happened was....

....I really did mean to finish the week off strong with exercise...but it didn't happen. I didn't beat myself up about it either.  However, I felt the difference when I went to BP last night.  My body was tired.  It didn't want to pump it up at all.  LOL

I made it through and I'm going back tonight. Going to try running a 5K on Wednesday...and a dance off on Thursday.  Any exercise after that is extra.

I was planning on putting on the Rollerblades.  But one of my kids has hidden one of them.  Dang bad children of mine.  LOL.  I'm still looking for it.

In other news....I need a vacation.  I'm so sleepy right now I could fall face first on my desk.  Ugh.  I hate when I'm super sleepy like this.

Tamara Blue - Thick Chicks

I love this chick!!  I love the confidence that she exudes.  My journey is to be healthy.  I will ALWAYS be a THICK CHICK!!

Healthy living

This healthy lifestyle can be hit or miss for me some days.  For instance, last week I couldn't get enough exercise.  This week...I've only worked out ONCE!!!  WTF?!?!?  I figured it out.  I didn't meal plan this week.  When I don't meal plan I eat whatever...not bad...but not food that fuels my body.  So in essence I have felt really sluggish...not wanting to do anything.  The week isn't over though.  There are 2 more days...which means I can still get in some exercise.  That is the plan as of now.  To finish the week strong.

Howe is everyone this week.  I've been reading the blogs...but not commenting.  I usually read and comment at work...but with the new DOJ rules in place...I'm limiting my Internet access at work.  Trust me when I tell you it is hard...especially on Friday.  I have no desire to do much of anything...but surf the web.

Have a FABULOUS weekend everyone. 

New Low

Saw a new low on the scale during my weekly weigh-in.  I'm super excited!!  I'm 10 lbs away from meeting my end of April goal.  I'm excited.

Tonight is BP.  Not really looking forward to it.  But I gotta meet my goals...which means going to the dang gym.  BTW.  I ran another 3K at the gym on Friday morning.  I didn't enjoy it as much on the treadmill as I did outside.  We shall try it again tonight. 

OMG...the StairMaster is evil.  But I will prevail.

Have an awesome week.

My First 3K

Remember I promised myself that I would work out 5 days this week.  I'm keeping my promise.  Two days down...three to go.  Yesterday I went home and I did drag my kids around in the wagon.  We went on a 1.5 mile walk to the park (3 mile walk combined).  Then we played on the swings.  After getting them fed, bathed and settled in bed I relaxed and watched an episode of CSI: Miami. 

Then it was time for my real workout.  So I laced up my running shoes and hit the pavement.  I completed a 3K run in 31 minutes and 41 seconds.  Sounds horrible right.  But who cares.  I ran the entire thing minus the 5 minute warm up.  I'm pretty stoked about it. 

Tonight will more than likely include a run or rollerblading.  It depends on how early I put the kids down. 

Hope everyone is having an awesome week.  It's hump day....so hump away.

I wanna swim

I never learned how to swim.  In high school we were required to take a swim class for one semester.  I was registered for the class.  Instead of taking the class...I dated the teacher.  Ugh...I know...horrible...but true.  I didn't want to mess up my hair.

I regret that decision now.  I really wish I new how to swim.  I would love to go to the gym and jump in the pull and swim laps.  I'm sure that is a great form of exercise.  The plan is to take swim lessons.  I will as soon...I hope. 

Last night was BP.  I went...and the entire time I wanted to slap the instructor.  She does not interact well with the class.  She never checks form.  She is to busy getting her workout in.  I guess I like interaction.  I actually upped my weights yesterday so that was exciting.  I'm looking forward to the next class.  Tonight I'm going to throw the kids in the wagon and pull them around the subdivision.  This will be a great workout because they are heavy.  LOL.  No...I will actually  go for a run tonight after I put my kiddos to sleep.

Hope everyone is having a fantastic week so far.  If not...remember...it could be worse.

I gots nada

Nothing to report.  Last week was a wash on the exercise front.  I just wanted to sleep.  So this week I'm going to work out 5 days.  Ugh...the horror of it all.  I have to make up though.  I have goals I need to meet.

I haven't had a fill since November.  I would not say I'm in my sweet spot...but I'm not in need.  I'm learning to control my intake on me own.  However, I have one schedule 2 days after I return from my girls weekend at the end of April.  I will need it by then. 

I am running out of clothes that fit.  Yup.  I have a handful of shirts and pants that I can wear to work.  OMG...and my selection for church is even smaller.  It's all good though.  I will wait until they are falling off before I go shopping.  On the weekends I live in my workout clothes...not because they are super cute...but I have no shirts to go with the crap load of jeans Boo gave me.  Oh well.

Have an awesome week!!

I'm soooo sleepy

I didn't make it to BP last night.  I planned on it..but I was/am tired.  I pulled into my drive way and took a 10 minute power nap in the car before going in to deal with my household.  All I wanted to do was go to sleep.  Instead I played with the kids and cleaned my bathrooms (I clean the bathrooms every other day...I can't stand a dirty bathroom).  After putting the kids to bed at 7 I wanted to go to sleep myself.  Then I remembered...duh I haven't eaten anything.  I hate waking up hungry so I peddled around until Charles made it home and I had a sandwich.  Nothing heavy.  Hit the spot. 

So off to bed I go after showering and ironing.  Only problem...Book 2 of the Hunger Game Trilogy.  Sigh...I was so close to being done.  I should just finish it then go to sleep.  Which is what I did.  But dang if it wasn't already 11:45 pm.  Tonight...I'm going to be at 8.   I don't care.  I want to sleep.

I cleaned up the Rollerblades.  But I can't find my knee pads.  I will keep yall posted on when the fateful event will happen.  LOL  There may even be pictures.

BTW...I used my 30 minute lunch to take a nap...just sad.

Thankful in spite of

Things have been going to the dogs in my life as of late.  But guess what.  I'm still thankful to God for all He has done for me and will continue to do for me.  I'm going to keep doing what I know how to do and that is survive.

I say this to tell you...don't give up on yourself or your situation when it gets to hard.  Giving up allows the other part to win.  I refuse to let them beat me.  I will not only get through this, but I will come out of it brand new.

In other news....

I went to an early morning Body Pump class on Friday.  Let me just say it was the best BP class I have taken.  The instructor was awesome and lively.  Although it was a nice size class, I didn't have to fight for room wot workout.  It was great.  I can't wait to go to this class every other Friday morning.  Tonight I have BP...but before it starts I will get to get in at least 45 minutes of Cardio.  Thank goodness.

My weight dropped a pound...then went back up that same pound.  Craziness.  But I'm moving on.  I have my meals for the week planned out.  Well at least my dinner meals.  I never plan my lunch anymore.  Crazy, but I don't.  I just grab what's in the fridge or I eat out of the chow hall while at work.

I was cleaning out this closet this weekend and found my Rollerblades.  I totally want to put them to use again.  I will give it a try one day this week and let you know how it goes.  I just hope nothing gets broken.

Have a great week!!

With love,

Good morning, Good morning....

Good morning to you!!! 

I see that everyone is excited about BOOBS 2012.  I've en read that some have already purchased their plane ticket.  Good for you.  I will be there.  I already have my wonderful roommates lined up.  Don't be sad that you can't stay with me....it's okay.  LOL

Last week I did not workout one time.  Nope...nada.  I was tired after training and all I wanted to do was go home and sleep.  It didn't happen, because my kiddos don't think mama should take a nap.  Heck the don't even want me to sit down. 

Saturday was a great day.  I met up with some Texas BOOBS for lunch in Waco.  It is always amazing to spend time with these ladies.  I always walk away feeling renewed...like I can really do this.  Each and everyone of them inspire me to do better.

The remainder of the weekend was uneventful.  I started a new work scheduled this week.  Being at work for 9 hours is not the best thing in the world.  But hey.  I get an 3 day weekend every other week.  I will take it.

On the band front.  Things are pretty good.  I'm at a good restriction level.  I have an appointment for a fill on March 13th.  Unless things change I will cancel and reschedule it.  I schedule an appointment every month....just in case.  On the weight loss front I hit a new low this week.  I'm super excited.  I only have 26 lbs to get to my birthday goal.  My birthday is in July.  I hope to surpass my goal by then.

Seriously...Body Pump is not a fun class.  I don't even like it.  However, I keep going back.  I know it is the only way I'm going to get some weight training into my routine.  But I want to point out that I don't like it.  LOL

Stop the presses!!!

I have 200 followers!!!  Wow!!  I'm in shock and very grateful that people actually want to read what I have to say. 

Thank you for your continued support and encouragement on this journey. 

Love,

It's been awhile...

I stopped posting.  I started to feel discontent with blogging.  Then I realized...I started this blog for ME!!!!!  This is my blog and my thoughts.  I can stop reading other blogs today if I want (I don't by the way).  I need to write for me.  So here goes.

My weight was up from my lowest...but it is back down.  The last month has not consisted of enough exercise and lots of crap eating.  During the last weeks of January and the early weeks of February my job is in training mode.  During that time I'm required to work positions that are not my own...this means shift work...shift work for me means milkshakes, chips, onion rings...etc.  A WHOLE LOT OF CRAP!!!

So this week I'm back to normal...at least I thought.  Until I realized I agreed to faciliate a 3 day training course in Austin.  Ugh...nowhere to store food....or warm up food.  The place that has the trainign won't allow you to bring outside food into the facility as they have their own restaurant.  Frustrating!!  I can control breakfast, dinner and snacks...lunch is up in the air. 

This weekend I get to meet up with some Texas BOOBS!!  I'm super excited.

I've done 2 Bodypump classes.  It's okay...I'm not sure what the big deal is...but I will keep going back.  Now I need to find another way to get in cardio.  I'm not longer going to my Go-Go Cardio class because I just can't afford it right now.  I pay $25 a month for the gym...paying an addition $15 per class or a $110 for two months just to attend Go-Go Cardio is soooo not in my nonexistent budget right now.  I miss it though.

It is starting to get warm here in Austin...I can start running again....I hope.  LOL

So what have you lovelies been up to?

BTW...I'm reading your post...not commenting much...but I'm reading.

Stronger!!!

Get your dance on!!!  Shout out to all my JK's!!!